


One moment

by Lotto95



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Hugs, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 06:22:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 43,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6644866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotto95/pseuds/Lotto95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma can't control her impulses a second longer so makes a long overdue move on the alluring Mayor. Set during 4b when Regina goes undercover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One moment

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything and all mistakes are mine!

Everyone else had parted ways after they’d discussed how to defeat the queens of darkness, leaving Emma and Regina standing side by side in the library lost in thought. The air slowly became dense, suffocating but electrifying Emma all the same. 

She couldn’t help it. Her body turned until she stood facing the women who’d been haunting her dreams for an extensive amount of time. She was drawn to her. She was always drawn to her, like the pull of one magnet to another, though somehow the fears and doubts that ran rampant in her mind had always come out stronger. 

Until now.

Now she stood looking at Regina showing all of her pent up emotions through eyes that longed to be closer. The yearning looks they’d shared now seeming inadequate compared to the thought of allowing her hands to do the devouring. 

She took a step closer. 

Regina seemed to notice the change in Emma, for her brows were knotted slightly, one hand still placed on her hip whilst eyes subtly roamed up and down the sheriff. Emma’s eyes were starting the blur and her pulse was racing so fast she could feel it throbbing beneath her wrists. 

She took another step causing Regina to eye her curiously. But she didn’t speak. She didn’t have to. A sea swirling of green had met curious brown eyes. An unspoken understanding passed between them. So Emma closed the distance, her bottom lip quivering as she gently brushed her fingers along one side of Regina’s cheek. 

“Em- Emma, what are you doing?” 

Emma was looking at Regina whilst she let a few stray tears roll down her cheeks, “I want to touch you,” she whispered so delicately she wasn’t sure Regina had heard her at all. But when Regina’s eyes began to widen Emma swallowed hard. 

“I want to feel you,” she continued, then brought her fingers lower. She hesitated for only a moment due to something in the back of her mind screaming at her to stop then swiped her thumb slowly over Regina’s bottom lip. 

The air around them had stilled, as if they were in a vacuum. No sounds were heard until Regina’s sharp intake of breath. Emma pressed her thumb down gently and continued to trace her thumb over Regina’s lip. 

Her hand eventually came up to cup Regina’s cheek until she was looking right at her once more. Her whole body shook at the words she felt bubbling up her throat. Apparently it didn’t matter how hard she’d suppressed those thoughts, because they fought their way to the surface no matter what she did. 

Emma titled her head ever so slightly, all of a sudden looking afraid. Her eyes scrunched but before she could stop, before Regina could say anything to put an end to this, the words formed on her tongue then slipped out of her lips, “I love you.”

Regina’s eyes were so wide she imagined allowing them to swallow her whole. But before her mind could catch up and inevitably cause her to bolt in the opposite direction, she used the hand cupping Regina’s cheek to snake around her neck only to pull her closer until their lips met. 

She exploded. 

It was like something inside finally burst. Their lips had barely touched until they were parting and closing at a frenzied pace. Hands had come to wrap tightly around her waist, causing Emma to press her body against the alluring woman. 

They kissed with so much passion Emma hardly had the chance to realise that Regina was allowing her lips to caress Emma’s. Regina was humming and Emma couldn’t help but feel the moan push its way out of her throat. 

She’d waited too long. They’d waited too long. 

Their lips pushed and parted until the kiss deepened. Until tongues were sliding against one another’s and hands were exploring new territory. 

And they would have carried on all night letting their lips do the explaining without making a sound. But eventually their lungs burned with the need for oxygen. They parted but when they did their lips stayed connected for a long moment whilst their heads moved apart, like they too were gravitated to each other. 

Both chests rose and fell as their bodies claimed the oxygen it desired. Eyes stared intently, uncertain, questioning, wanting nothing more than to fall into each other. 

Their breathing became quieter and the distance grew. A gap becoming very apparent between their bodies, even if they wanted nothing more than to be pressed firmly together. 

Then Regina cleared her throat. She gave one look to Emma and in that one look she knew what she saw. Emma’s heart lifted when Regina took a step closer. Then another. And another. 

But she carried on walking. Her face turning cold as she did so. She didn’t speak, nor turn back as she walked right past Emma and out of the building, leaving Emma to stand alone in the silence as she felt her heart begin to sink. Slowly, as if it was falling into a void. 

Her cheeks were already damp, but she felt moisture settle on them once more. She quickly wiped at them with the back of her palm, taking deep breaths to calm herself. 

Her face slowly morphed from loving to hard. But it didn’t stop the worry that had settled in the pit of her stomach over Regina’s plan. Even if right now all she could think about was pushing her fist through a wall. 

But she couldn’t move. Instead she wrapped both arms around her middle as the thoughts grew louder. Regina didn’t want her. 

She wasn’t enough.


	2. Unfriendly reminders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies, here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. Hopefully I'll be updating weekly but I make no promises! 
> 
> Diverge from canon. There may be brief mentions but no Robin or Hook.
> 
> Let me know what you think :)

It was subtle. Regina almost missed it. But as her body grazed Emma’s, eliciting a single shiver down her spine, she caught a glimpse of Emma’s face displaying a look she had once held as a young girl forced to watch her lover’s heart turn to dust.

Devastation.

As one foot hit the floor outside of the library a single clench of her stomach almost had her turning back around, but she knew a second longer and she would’ve caved. Instead she fell backwards against the wall, pressed her palms to the rough texture then allowed her head to drop back forcefully against the hard surface.

She sighed, closed her eyes then lifted her head trying to focus solely on the wind blowing against her face instead of the dozens of self-loathing thoughts fighting to overpower her completely.

Her breathing was laboured as images of Emma swirled around her mind. The feeling of soft lips, hands that had firmly gripped wherever they could reach, eyes she could have easily allowed herself to fall into.

There was a part of her desperate for Emma to walk out of the building so she could grab onto her face only to kiss her senseless, but as the look on Emma’s face resurfaced in her mind, Regina felt herself crumble.

It would only hurt Emma further. She still wasn’t sure what she had been thinking; allowing herself to give in, finally getting a taste of the woman she’d been craving ever since she was met with a shrug and that single ‘hi’ which somehow had awakened her senses after twenty eight years of slumber.

She sighed again; very aware Emma could walk out of the building any second. Though Regina continued to slump against the wall simply allowing her breathing to return to normal as the darkness began to settle in the air.

After another moment of hesitation she pushed of the wall, crossed her arms then stood staring at the door to the library.

It became very clear Emma wouldn’t be coming out. And she certainly wasn’t going back inside. Teeth attached to her bottom lip as she waited. Knowing she shouldn’t, not after everything she’d put Emma through. But the feelings she still found herself denying were keeping her rooted.

Emma _loved_ her.

But no one could love her.

The words Emma had spilled burnt into her mind like a scar. She wanted to wrap them around her entire body like a blanket but feared the weight of it would eventually crush her.

Regina mentally berated herself for standing there like a fool then forced her body to turn around before taking stiff steps in the opposite direction. Moonlight danced over the surface where Regina walked, like it created a path for her to follow. But there wasn’t a home, a person she could go to and she cursed herself when it was Emma whom instantly came into her mind.

A hole grew inside of her as she continued to wander the streets, trying with every intention to push the last few moments out of her thoughts.

Eventually she found herself sitting stiffly on the bench next to the lake she’d carefully constructed into her curse which felt like had happened an eternity ago. She used to bring Henry here as an infant during the summer months. She smiled slightly as memories of Henry throwing pebbles into the water and being in awe each time they had sunk floated to her mind. It was an odd fascination, but she had simply enjoyed watching him frown in confusion then smile widely at the ripples spreading across the water.

With Henry on her mind she quickly dialled his number. “Mom?”

“Henry,” she sighed and her body calmed instantly, “are you still with the charmings?”

“Yeah mom, we’re just about to have dinner, why?”

“Okay,” she nodded even if he couldn’t see, “you’re going to have to stay there tonight Henry. I’ve gotten some things to take care of.”

“What things? Are you okay mom? Ma is worried about you.”

She swallowed at the mention of Emma, before answering thickly, “She told you this?”

“Well no,” he sighed down the phone, “but she’s frantic all of the time and only relaxes when she knows you’re safe.”

“She’s an idiot.”

“Right mom,” he said and Regina could practically see his eyes roll, “just promise me you’re going to be okay.”

“Henry, I promise,” she told him sincerely. “Now, I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Wait, Ma’s here, do you want to talk to her?”

She was silent for a moment. Emma must have been waiting for her to leave to make her escape.

“No,” she said, though her voice shook. She willed herself to get it together, at least for Henry. “No,” she repeated more firmly, “we talked earlier.”

“And,” he drew out slowly, “she slammed the door.”

“Well I still have no idea why your mother does anything,” she replied hastily ignoring the guilt growing in the pit of her stomach, “but I have to go, have a good night Henry, I love you.”

She couldn’t help the smile that had spread at his following words, “I love you too Mom.” Her hand instantly clutched onto the phone tighter and her head titled as if her actions would get her closer to her son. She held onto the phone for a few long moments after the line went dead, hoping to hold onto feelings she could cherish.

With a sigh she placed the phone back in her pocket as her insides began to twist. There was a place buried deep inside that had her craving love immensely, but it was also something she fought hard to ignore. Closing her eyes, she lifted her chin allowing the breeze to brush over her face, revelling in the shiver spreading over her tense body.

“Hello dear,” a pleasant voice floated into the air, “what exactly brings you here tonight?”

The familiar voice had her eyes snapping open and her head turning to the source, “I could ask you the same thing.”

“Now, now,” she said then sat softly on the bench as if it were a throne before crossing one leg over the other, “what has gotten into you?”

After her eyes stared intently at the women sat closely Regina diverted her gaze to look out over the lake focusing on the water which rippled due to the wind sliding over its surface. “It’s none of your concern dear.”

Regina found herself shuffling as she was eyed curiously, “I thought we’d come to a place of understanding, but if not I’d be happy to let Cruella and Ursula know where your loyalties lie.”

She chuckled ever so slightly, “you really think I’d side with those charming idiots?”

“Perhaps you’ve grown fond of them.”

Regina visibility stiffened but tried to hold her voice firm when she spoke next, “as much as I would grow fond of street rats. You are very much aware of my past Maleficent.”

Something felt as if it was breaking at her own words. They’d become her friends, her family. But reminders were always lurking, ready to tap on her shoulder whenever the opportunity arose.

“And what of the saviour?”

Regina turned her head to look at her old friend. Feeling the air shift and tighten around them. There was something about Maleficent which had always pulled Regina in close to her, as if they became trapped within a bubble. Nothing on the outside could touch them. Though that didn’t mean they were safe.

Maleficent was looking casually at her nails as if the conversation bored her, though Regina knew her old friend well. She chuckled so her face wouldn’t twist as she spoke of Emma in a way that would make fireballs appear on her hands quicker than who ever had uttered those words would know what had hit them, “she’s insufferable. I would have taken care of her if it weren’t for Henry.”

Mal eyed her curiously before smirking then drinking her friend in, “but something is the matter. This may come as a surprise to you, but we’re old friends and I care about you.”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

Though this time her own voice wasn’t one which was convincing and she knew as much. Her heart had barley stopped thumping in her chest from the moment their bodies had collided. Now all that remained were bare lips and a cold empty space which could only be filled by Emma.

“Are you sure about that, little one?”

And just like that Regina was transported to a time when Mal had been something of a comfort. Their eyes met and Regina found the slightest bit of tension leave her body. Perhaps this was the distraction she needed. She was tired of thinking.

Regina tipped her head forwards but kept her eyes raised showing a look of suggestion. A tongue swished over her lips slowly and she smirked watching as Mal instinctively leaned in closer.

Their lips met somewhere in the middle, both of them readily accepting each other. Mal placed a single hand on the top of Regina’s thigh as if the action alone would allow her to take control. Regina couldn’t help but tremble once fingers swept over her skin on the inside of her thigh.

She continued to kiss Mal as if doing so would wash the taste of Emma away replacing it instead with something familiar. But Regina planned to get lost. So with a simple wave of her hand purple smoke surrounded them and they landed abruptly in Regina’s vault.

Mal raised an eyebrow, “classy dear,” though she was quick to tug at Regina until their bodies became tangled then crashed their lips back together.

But it didn’t seem to have the effect she desired. With every graze of Mal’s hands she felt Emma. She yearned for Emma’s touch. The knowledge only made her kiss harder, run her hands frantically over Mal, until their kissing became desperate.

Mal pulled away then gave her a sceptical look. Regina simply shrugged, “I’ve gained some experience.”

Mal chuckled but before she could attach their lips Regina unexpectedly grabbed her shoulders before spinning her around.

Their roles had reversed. There was a time when Regina took direction; lay on her back whilst Mal brought out sounds that’d never slipped from her lips until then. But before the older women had time to exert her dominance Regina pushed her rather forcefully onto a chair then straddled her lap before taking those lips again.

Their kissing stopped briefly after Regina pulled away, their lips brushing as she whispered, “make me forget.”

Regina caught the briefest of frowns, but she was certain Mal would know exactly what she had meant. But as fingers traced the bottom of her torso then along the edge of where skin met fabric it felt like rocks were pushing on the pit of her stomach. Those fingers eased beneath her skirt until they began to stroke her tenderly, causing her hips to roll and a sob to bubble up then push its way out of her throat.

But Regina was no longer the young girl who allowed another woman’s hands to caress every inch of her body until only a ghost of the king’s touches remained.

She didn’t want to forget the way Emma’s lips tasted. She didn’t want to forget how the tips of Emma’s fingers brushed so delicately against her cheek, the thumb that swept along her lip. Maybe there was a time when she wouldn’t have stopped, but as she felt those fingers dip lower she instantly gripped onto Mal’s wrist then was quick to stand and put distance between them. “I can’t do this.”

Those words echoed around the vault that had been relatively silent only moments before. Arms crossed around her chest whilst she blinked rapidly. She didn’t want to think about Emma, but at the same time all she wanted was for Emma to consume her completely. After closing her eyes she looked down and her chest heaved as she took deep calming breaths.

Mal crossed her legs from where she sat, “and why is that little one?”

Once her body began to calm Regina opened her eyes to see Mal quite clearly squeeze her thighs and she couldn’t help but smirk internally. But she didn’t care much for Mal in that moment.

With the look on Emma’s face coming full force into her thoughts, she found herself easily picturing that look if Emma were to find out she’d dived onto another woman barley moments after they’d shared their first kiss, after Emma had confessed her love.

She shook her head as if that would provide an answer, before turning so she could break through the air they were still trapped within. She walked briskly out of the vault wondering why her own selfish desires came second to that of another person.

And even though she told herself not to think about it for a second longer. She knew the reason.


	3. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies, sorry this took me a while! It's not very long but I wanted to get something posted. I hope you like it, let me know what you guys think :)

She had finally answered. After days of endless worry with only Henry’s reassurances to keep the knot in her stomach from clenching so forcefully she would end up bent in two, Regina had called. The first time she rejected it out right. The second, she stuffed the phone in her pocket. The third had her almost hurtling the phone across the room. But she answered the next call and as that voice calmed her entire body, she thought maybe she had been wrong. Regina did want her. 

Regina didn’t want her. 

Gold was back. And they were all meeting at her parent’s loft. And she was about to face the woman she’d admitted her love to for the first time since those words so easily slipped free from her mouth. 

Emma still hadn’t come to accept how easily she had said those words. How for a brief moment she felt light as air once lips she’d been desperate for were kissing her back. But for days after, the lightness slowly left her body, instead she was left feeling weighed down. Burdened by yet another rejection. 

Heavy limbs climbed the stairs to the loft. She took one long breath as the door came into view. Eyes closed after she noticed her trembling hand. It gripped onto the handle as she willed herself to get it together. After another deep breath she pushed the door open at the same time as opening her eyes then forced her cheeks to at least show something other than the array of emotions inside. 

Emma was an expert at that. But as she took steps into the loft and after she had taken in the sight of her father deep in conversation with her mother, who stood bouncing their infant son on her hip, her eyes settled to Regina. 

Her heart felt like it was being stabbed as Regina looked briefly in her direction only to turn her attention back to her parents. 

It was Snow who was the first to comment on Emma lingering in the doorway. “Emma, sweetie, are you just going to stand there?” 

Her grip on the door handle tightened, but she didn’t need her mother questioning her foul mood. So she smiled softly before closing the door. Her arms crossed as she took her place among the group.

She shuffled a little uneasily but her eyes fixated on anything but the pair of brown eyes that were now boring right through her. “So, what’s up?”

“Gold.”

She closed her eyes at the voice. But snapped them open before anyone noticed how that single word had such an affect. 

It was Regina who was eyeing her with glistening eyes and a tipped head. She swallowed down the lump in her throat. “So, Gold’s back. What does he want?”

Something subtle shifted in the air. Her parents looked at each other for a moment too long, like there was something burning on the tip of their tongue, which was somehow quieted with a knowing look. Emma frowned feeling her instincts tingle but then her mother was looking to Regina and Regina was looking to her mother. Then Regina looked at her, guilt written all over her face. And for a brief moment she wondered if the secret she’d been clinging too with everything she had had been so easily shared. But Regina was shaking her head before she looked directly at Emma again. 

“We’re not entirely sure.”

Emma uncrossed her arms then leant one hand on the kitchen counter. “What exactly does that mean?”

Regina sighed and her parents were yet to meet her eyes. 

“Mom, dad,” she said whilst something twisted deep inside. 

David sighed before looking to his daughter. “Whatever it is Emma, we’re going to fight him. Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

“Why would something happen to me?”

“Nothing Emma, that’s what your father is trying to tell you.”

Snow looked to Neal the entire time she spoke. Emma felt like she’d been picked up then plummeted into some kind of alternate universe. “Mom, why would he say that?”

“Emma,” Regina said softly. So softly in fact Emma instantly turned to the source feeling somewhat safer than she had moments ago. “I’m going to find out what Gold wants. You’ll be safe. I promise.”

“So you’re staying undercover?”

“Regina doesn’t have a choice,” Snow was quick to interrupt. After switching Neal to her other hip she looked up to David. “I’m just going to change him.”

“Why don’t you have a choice?” Emma crossed her arms then held the weight of Regina’s gaze. And in that moment Regina was pleading with her eyes. Emma felt her own sting with unshed tears. Her fists were clenching whilst she remembered the way Regina felt beneath her palms. “Please don’t do this.”

“Emma-”

Her sentence fell dead. Their eyes remained locked. And for the first time Emma felt Regina looking at her like she saw clearly. “Don’t worry about me.”

David cleared his throat but it didn’t seem to distract the two of them from the silent words being shared. He walked off and Emma was aware of her parents moving around and whispering, but in that moment she was entirely focused on the woman stood in front of where she stood only a few feet away. It wouldn’t take much for her to close the gap and place their lips together. 

But she didn’t. 

“It’s too dangerous Regina.”

“I can handle them. You’re the one letting your feelings -“

Brown eyes went wide. Emma let herself fall into them for a single moment before snapping her head to the side to prevent herself from breaking. She blinked a few times. Then a slight hand gripped her shoulder. 

“Is everything okay here?”

Emma sighed before turning to face her mother. “No. Please tell Regina she’s putting herself in unnecessary danger.” 

Snow swallowed. “Actually,” she began then diverted her gaze so her eyes locked with Regina’s. “I agree with Regina.”

Regina nodded her head and their eyes remained glued to each other before the contact was broken by her father walking back to where they stood near the kitchen. 

“So, have we decided what we’re going to do?”

“Yes.” Both Snow and Regina said simultaneously.

Emma shrugged then stepped away from her mother. “No actually we haven’t. Regina going undercover to find out what Gold wants isn’t a plan.”

Another hand squeezed her shoulder. But her parents were in view. Her head twisted to look over her shoulder. And their eyes met again. Emma was almost certain she could see something there. Something other than what Regina was saying. But she looked away again to see her parents having that same look between each other. 

She shook her whole body this time. Because as much as she wanted Regina’s touch, her superpower was going off the charts around the people she trusted most. 

“You’re all keeping something from me.”

Eyes met around her but none of them met her gaze. 

She looked to each of them in turn then shook her head. “Fine.” She paced towards the door without giving any of them a single thought. “Fine,” she repeated then opened the door. Her mother called her name, like the action alone would have her stopping in her tracks. But she walked through the door then slammed it hard behind her feeling her head spin as if her entire world had been tipped upside down.


	4. Loyalty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies! Here's the next chapter, sorry it took a while. Enjoy :)

Lungs struggled for breath as she hesitantly made her way to Gold’s cabin. Regina was scared. She wouldn’t admit it to anyone, to Emma – especially not to Emma. Her palms had tingled with the need to touch after she had caught a glimpse of Emma shuffling at the door. It’d been days and in those days her mind was filled with the taste of Emma’s lips on her own. What it would be like to touch her again. If Emma would even want their lips sliding together whilst bodies collided and hands roamed after she’d left her standing alone. 

One look into frantic eyes had been enough. She had to do this, no matter the risk.

Fists clenched as she stood uncertain outside of the door. It wouldn’t stop them from trembling. Not even when nails dug into her palms. No matter how long it had been, how far she’d come to step away from the past which had been so carefully constructed, the person on the other side of that door still held the power to manipulate and control. There was a part inside so desperate to come out. One wrong move and she was certain she would fall. 

This was for Emma. It was a promise to Snow. After everything she’d put them through, this was the least she could do. (It still wasn’t enough to make it up to the little girl who’d been forgotten and alone. Not enough to be enough for her now). She took a deep breath then stepped inside. 

“Argh, there you are.”

Regina’s eyes rolled as she pushed the door shut. She turned to place her coat on the rack as Cruella swaggered towards where she stood with eyes searching the room. The knot in her chest seemed to ease up just the slightest. Cruella she could handle. She threw a cocky smirk towards her. “What, you can’t cope five minutes without me?” 

“Hardly,” she said placing one hand on her hip, the other wafting around in the air, “though you heroes do seem to think you have more worth than you actually possess.”

Regina chuckled incredulously, “hero?”

“That’s where you’ve been haven’t you?”

Regina could feel her before she had spoken. A bond forged before the raging war had fully begun. It didn’t stop her entire body from tensing before she turned with gritted teeth. “Mal.” Their eyes connected. A smirk grew on Maleficent’s lips as she stalked closer. Regina remained tall, her posture tight in an attempt to create the barrier which had once pushed Maleficent away. A glimpse of the former queen and she was sure she’d have the upper hand. 

Maleficent continued however, until she was close enough to brush the tip off her finger along the jaw line where she’d once pressed kiss after kiss. It lingered beneath her chin, tilting her head as if any moment she’d lean in. Their eyes stayed locked. Mal smirked again then removed her finger to continue her walk to stand beside Cruella. 

Regina wanted to confront her, though with an audience it wasn’t going to happen. Maybe she’d simply have to suffer through the torment of Maleficent being able to hang what they almost did over her head. She tried to shake the thoughts away. “Why on earth would you say that?”

Cruella had reached the coat rack, but before Regina even had time to process what exactly she was going to do, the fabric of her coat had been bundled in Cruella’s fist. She took a long sniff of Regina’s coat and Regina’s eyes went wide. She snatched it out of her hands. “What the hell are you doing?”

“You smell ghastly, just like those darn heroes.”

“You’ve been drinking too much gin.” 

“Darling.” She pointed a finger in her direction, swaying on the spot. “One can never drink too much gin.” 

“Then you’re a damn fool.” She lifted her frustrated eyes to Mal who stood with her arms crossed, smirking at the scene. “Please get this incompetent idiot out of here before I do something-” Her lips twisted into a smile before her widened eyes looked back to Cruella, “something I’m going to enjoy.” 

“Now, there’s no need for that.” Mal took strides towards them, placing a hand on Cruella’s shoulder at the same time Regina reluctantly placed her coat on the rack. “Why don’t you find out what’s taking Ursula so long.”

“Oh, you haven’t heard?” Cruella chuckled then shrugged the hand off her shoulder pulling her fur coat around herself. “She’s gone. Sailed off with that pirate after he had given her back the voice he’d stolen.”

“Good riddance.” Regina’s eyes sparkled with mischief and Mal had caught it. 

“Then go and make yourself useful elsewhere.”

Cruella twisted her head from side to side, only to find Regina stood with her arms crossed and an evil smirk on her lips and Mal stood with a raised brow and a rather suggestive look. “Fine,” she huffed, “I know when I’m not wanted.”

Regina cocked a brow as she walked past causing Cruella to huff even more as she walked out of the cabin. The door slammed and it was only after the lingering sound left, replaced instead with a silence neither of them wanted to be held within, did they look to each other. Mal turned then swiftly took the seat in the corner. “Happy to have the saviour to yourself, dear?”

Regina scoffed before pacing around the room. She wasn’t here for this. “Where’s Gold?” She didn’t want to know. Not really, but if she was ever going to find a way to protect the people she cared for, the one person who mattered most – besides Henry – then she had to. 

Mal crossed her legs, placed both arms on the side of the chair then leant back with a smirk that wouldn’t leave her features. “You know,” she began, waiting for Regina to meet her eyes. “I’ve been wondering about the other night. And it finally clicked. You’re happy the pirate’s gone.”

“He was an imbecile.”

It was the truth, but Regina still felt her stomach clench forcefully. She wasn’t at all surprised Mal had figured it out. She knew her better than Regina would like to admit. Too much time whispering secrets as soft fingers traced her satisfied body. 

“You wanted to forget her, am I right?”

Regina crossed her arms, lips twisted and stared her down. She was backed into a corner. Her head shook because at least this was something which resembled the truth. “No.” But the word shook as her voice cracked trying to remember why she’d thought seducing Mal was a good idea. Emma was already starting to fade. She would never get more. 

Mal chuckled. “You expect me to believe that little one?” She stood then paced towards Regina whose eyes were burning with a mixture of fury and despair. “I didn’t believe for a second you were on our side. So I asked myself why would you come to us?” That finger found Regina’s jaw again, slowly tracing downwards. “It’s for her.” 

Regina knocked the hand away then turned hoping Mal hadn’t caught sight of her mask crumbling on the spot. Her arms were quick to wrap around her middle. All she could do was stand and force any more reactions to stay buried. 

“You know Gold intends to use her in some way. You’re here for his plans so you can protect the precious saviour.” Mal was so close her warm breath spread out over Regina’s neck. “Tell me if I’ve gotten anything wrong so far.”

She kept her mouth closed feeling sick to her stomach. Mal may have been something at some point. But she’d made it very clear where her loyalties lie. And that certainly wasn’t with the people who’d placed their daughter’s darkness into her own. Regina closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on keeping her breathing even. She knew there was no point in lying. Even if the consequences of revealing herself were terrifying. 

She turned then made sure she was looking right at Maleficent lifting her chin in defiance. “Always the perceptive one, Maleficent.”

She shook her head, almost like a disapproving parent. “After everything they’ve done to you.”

Regina snarled back at her. “After everything they’ve done. Emma held no part in any of it.”

“Nonetheless, they hurt my daughter. I have no qualms hurting theirs.” 

Her fist opened and she would’ve continued if it wasn’t for the door creaking open. Her hand bawled then fell to her side as Mal’s face showed victory. Gold hobbled into the cabin and as his back was turned to close the door Mal placed her lips just below her ear before whispering, “what would she think about what you did with me?”

Her whole body jolted away but she carefully concealed it, bringing back her days as queen when all she had was a mask of protection. Though she couldn’t help but notice how Gold looked amused. 

“Now, ladies, let’s keep it civil shall we?”

Two pairs of eyes rolled and Regina would’ve chuckled if it weren’t for the knot in her chest tightening. She dared a glance at Mal. Her face remained smug. 

“Do you have it?” 

Regina’s head went from Mal to Gold who only looked rather pleased with himself. “Got what exactly?” Her arms crossed and she kept her gaze on Gold. 

“Let’s just say something that’s going to tether all of your questions together.”

A long sigh pushed its way out of her throat. As much as this entire situation made her feel off balance, she was beginning to become frustrated. She wasn’t one for waiting. In one swift movement Regina grabbed her coat, wrapped it around herself then opened the door. 

“Where do you think you’re going dearie?”

She turned in the open door. “Away from here. You’re not going to tell me anything.” Her voice was challenging hoping she’d at least get some sort of a reaction. 

With one hand leaning on his cane, he used the other to gesture Regina back into the cabin. “On the contrary,” he said, though Regina remained routed. “You’re going to do something for us.” His eyes caught Mal’s then quickly returned to Regina. “Something to prove you’re really on our side.”

She kept quiet. Not trusting her voice to speak. Waiting for Mal to tell him exactly whose side she’s truly on. There was only silence and glares held between the two of them. She only looked away once Gold began to speak again.

“We need you,” he began, his face showing that of amusement. He then placed his fingertips over his chest where his heart resided. “To retrieve the saviour’s heart,” he said with so much delight she felt the urge to connect her fist with his face. He had lifted his fingers away, as if ripping his heart out whilst Regina’s own dropped to her stomach. 

Her limbs went rigid thinking about all of the possibilities. Her neck was stiff though she managed to twist her head to see Mal’s face beaming with glee. She glared before bringing her eyes back to Gold, knowing she would fail to keep her emotions hidden. Though she kept her voice as strong as she could manage. “And what exactly do you need her heart for?”

He smiled. “That’s my business, now you do this and well, you won’t find out the consequences of lying to all of us.”

He knew. She had known. Deep down she had known all along she was fooling no one. But now she’d dug herself deeper than she’d ever anticipated. 

After a moment of her teeth clenching and her chest contracting with each deep breath her head snapped back to Mal. Even though whatever they were, they were no longer, it still felt like a betrayal. From a person who’d once been so tender. “You knew.”

“Of course I knew,” she replied calmly.

“You bitch.”

Maleficent’s eyes widened though she simply tilted her head and smiled. Gold didn’t react, no doubt he’d expected as much. 

Her face remained hard even if her insides felt as if they’d been heated until they started to melt. “And if I don’t?” 

He chuckled menacingly, “the terms are quite simple. Fetch her heart. You’ve had plenty of experience your majesty.”

Her fists clenched and she swallowed. Hard. “And how do I know you’re not just going to kill her?”

“If I wanted her dead,” he said in a way which reminded her all too clearly of Rumpelstiltskin, “then she would be.”

His smile had her skin crawling. She could feel tears build behind her eyes. But she would never give them the satisfaction. 

After closing her eyes she forced her body to turn. All she could think of was Emma, who, Regina had come to realise, never wanted any part in this, never wanted the role as saviour. Emma had been as much as a pawn to Rumple’s plans as she had been. 

She closed the door as she walked away. Her movements were slow. She had to drag her feet along the fallen leaves to move away from the cabin. Her mind was reeling.

“Not you again,” Cruella said walking up to where Regina had to just left the cabin.

She didn’t have time for this. The urge to rip into Cruella’s chest was strong, but not worth it. After taking a deep breath to control her urges, she flipped a hand until purple smoke surrounded her body.

She couldn’t understand what he needed her heart for, but whatever it was she was certain they’d both be paying for it. So she had no choice. 

With a thud she landed back in the loft to see the startled look on the charming’s faces. But they quickly morphed into that of concern when their eyes landed on Regina. “We need to talk,” she said to the both of them and her tone was not one to be messed with.


	5. Disbelief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guy, sorry this is short and took a while. It's coming out slowly!! Hope you enjoy :)

A hand trailed along the counter top situated in the small kitchen as Regina’s heels made contact with the floor. She made her way to where Snow was nestled into David’s side on their couch, no doubt enjoying a moment’s peace whilst their toddler slept. After Regina had stopped a small distance away, leaning that hand on the counter, whilst the other was in a tight fist by her side, she let her eyes wander to Neal’s crib, her gaze focusing on the cotton blanket bawled in a tight fist. She smiled softly, feeling her own hand begin to unclench. Something about Neal reminded her so much of Henry as a baby. Perhaps it was their relation to Emma. Her head shook then her eyes landed back on the Charmings.

She sighed deeply whilst trying to focus her thoughts. Two pairs of eyes were glued to her and for the first time, she wanted to cower under their gaze. She’d failed. Not in the way she had for years when she had focused all her energy on something she had never wanted to achieve. In a way which meant their daughter’s life was at risk. Again.

Regina addressed them both getting straight to the point. “He wants her heart.”

There was silence. A moment where the statement had to sink in, then David stood abruptly followed by Snow. He made sure Regina caught his eye. “Emma’s heart?” When Regina nodded, David wrapped an arm around Snow’s waist. She was looking to the ground, a lip between her teeth before she looked into the eyes of her husband. Something passed between them, but whatever it was they were unwilling to share.

“What are we going to do?” Snow asked bringing her eyes back around to meet Regina’s worried gaze. Her hand had travelled to her hip and her fingers were gripping tightly to the silk blouse. She let go immediately once she noticed Snow’s eyes travel to them before she raised an eyebrow at Regina.

“I don’t know.”

“He can’t do this, he has no right.” David lifted his arm towards Regina, almost as if it was her they needed protecting from. She shivered and once their eyes met he lowered it back to his side.

Snow shook her head and the Charming’s eyes were meeting again. They passed something silently between them before Snow turned her attention back to where Regina still stood leaning against the counter. “This isn’t about-”

Regina frowned trying to fill in the blanks. Then her head shook in disbelief. “What you did to them?” She crossed her arms over her chest then glared at Snow. She could feel her chest tighten as she continued to bore her eyes into her former step daughter like she had when she had been determined to end her. Of course she wouldn’t do that now. But it didn’t stop the expression from forming. “Gold wants Emma’s heart for god knows what and all you’re concerned about is keeping your secret?”

“Regina,” Snow said, her voice think, “of course I’m worried about Emma.” Her eyes flickered to David before settling back on Regina. “But, I don’t think. I don’t think telling her would do any good.”

“She’s right Regina.” David stepped forwards slightly, resting his hand on the bottom of Snow’s back.

She opened her mouth. Closed it. Tried to find a reason why keeping this secret would be more important than keeping Emma safe. Her fingers tingled with the familiar feel of magic, though she doubted conjuring a fireball would do much good right now.

“We don’t even know if it has anything to do with it.”

Regina chuckled at Snow, “Maleficent seems quite pleased with the plan. My guess it has everything to do with what you did.” Her hand came to rest on the countertop again, though this time she was leaning forwards, almost as if she was about to devour a prey. She found herself smirking when Snow took a step backwards.

“Regina,” David said sternly, a warning almost, “she doesn’t need to know.”

Arms crossed around her chest again as she shook her head. “You’re going to tell her,” she said slowly, making sure to make eye contact with the both of them.

“But-” Regina lifted her brow at Snow though she only hesitated for a moment. “Her magic, she’s vulnerable, she’s-”

“No.” Regina began to shake a finger at them both. “Her magic isn’t an issue, or wouldn’t have been if you two had been more accepting. And she needs to know why they will be coming after her once they realise I’m not going back.”

David’s eye went wide, “you’re not staying undercover?”

Regina sighed, “I’ll stall for as long as I can, but it won’t be long until they realise I have no intention of bringing Emma’s heart to them.”

Snow let out a long deep sigh, almost as if she wasn’t sure whether Regina would go through with that or not. Those little reminders of their previous life never failed to sting.

“Look,” Regina said looking to the both of them, “you need to tell Emma. I’ll tell her about Gold’s plan, but this is on you two.”

“I don’t want to lose her, Regina.”

Snow eyes were pleading, but there was a look still etched into her mind of Emma’s distraught face. It wasn’t like she wanted Emma to end up feeling the brunt of this, but they didn’t have much of a choice. She was already keeping too much from her the least she could do was persuade the imbeciles she had for parents to do the right thing.

Regina nodded softly whilst looking directly at Snow. Their eyes met and they stayed that way whilst neither of them said a word. But Regina had to make sure they would do the right thing by Emma. After another long moment where silent pleas were being exchanged and Snow’s eyes were starting to glisten, Regina took a deep breath. “Then put her first.”


	6. Vulnerability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it has taken me so long to update. Without going into too much detail, when I get down it becomes really hard for me to write, but I do intend to get this finished. More for myself than anything. I'll try to update as much as possible, so if anyone is still interested, I hope you'll stick with me :)

Emma sat in her bug, her pain filled eyes glued to a spot just outside of the town line, hands clenching the steering wheel and one leg bouncing repeatedly. She watched, with longing, as a single bee flew around the line. Hands gripped until knuckles turned white and she bit her lip as it landed on a flower within the town limits only to fly back over the line without restraint. Free.

Each breath became harder the longer Emma sat staring at the freedom she had been denying to herself, she craved. It was so easy to push that suffocation away, when there was one catastrophe after the next. Keep Henry safe, her family safe, the town safe; there was no room left to think. On a deep breath, the knot loosened as too did her grip on the steering wheel. She snaked those arms around her middle and clenched her teeth when the array of emotions began to morph.

Growing up, she’d spent countless nights dreaming of her family as small fingers had gripped onto a cotton blanket. She’d wish for them, over and over, but with each passing year, her hope faded and she had learned to run before the blow of another rejection would hit. Now her family were pushing her out with secret glances and hushed tones and something inside of Emma was screaming at her to run, to find a way to make it seem like it was her choice.

It had been hard enough to see her parents interact with her baby brother. She loved him and couldn’t get enough of the giggle which always bubbled when she tickled his sides, but the little girl still trapped who was desperate for love and attention cried out for every time her mother would coo over him or her father would bond over some first they would never share. She’d bury it. She would always bury it.

Eyes squeezed shut to stop the glistening from pooling over. Her stomach tightened all over again as she fought back against her own doubts. Shuffling in her seat, she pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans to find the screen showing an image of a smiling Henry leaning against Regina’s side. The small smile fell upon realising no one had noticed her absence. The sun was setting around her, the deep orange light shining into the bug, whilst she sat, alone, mind still reeling and uncertain.

With trembling thumbs, hands gripped around her phone, she opened a new message on a deep breath. _I need you,_ she wrote to the one person she couldn’t stop thinking about since those idiotic words had slipped free. One thumb hung over the send button, her lip quivered as that gut wrenching feeling of being left standing alone filled her senses. Her breathing became shaky and uneven and after she’d felt the pity morph into despair she lifted her arm before launching the phone into the back seat not caring if it would survive.

Long hidden tears began to stream. She bashed a palm onto the wheel. Hard. Not caring when her hand began to throb. Her head fell straight into her arms, shoulders shaking as she began to sob.

“Weak,” she muttered as her own demons flared inside her mind, “selfish.” Her chest heaved and the sobs came out harder. “No one will ever love you. Never,” she chocked then continued to sob, feeling the weight of everything crumbling down upon her.

 

***

The familiar clipping of Regina’s heels invaded the loft as she paced, one hand clenching by her side. She counted off the reasons why she couldn’t throw a fireball at one of their head’s. Just when she had had enough of their endless back and forth, her blazer buzzed. Regina reached for her phone, David and Snow non the wiser to the text on the screen.

On a deep breath she looked up to them. “I have to go. Just,” she shook her head after they had both turned to her, “do what’s best for your daughter. You both made a mistake. Deal with it.” She spun, pace quickening as she reached the door. “God knows I had to,” she mumbled and exited the loft before either of them had a chance to protest.

“Maybe she’s right Snow,” Regina heard David say, before the door slammed shut and she was placing the phone to her ear.

It rang and she tapped fingers against her leg. “Dammit-” she pulled the phone from her ear and dialled again. And waited, chest tightening and the urge to throw the useless thing coming our strong.

“R’gina?”

“Emma. What’s wrong? Where are you?” She walked away from the loft, practically taking the stairs two at a time with the need to be in action, distracting herself from the worry running rampant in her mind. The image of Rumple’s fingers over his chest as he requested the impossible appearing at the forefront of her mind.

There was silence. Followed by a muffled sound and Regina’s stomach knotted when she came out of the building onto the street with no direction to follow. “Emma. Where are you?”

“Why do you care?” came from the other end of the phone and if Regina wasn’t already mad she might have taken note of the break in Emma’s voice. She gritted her teeth and clenched the phone to stop herself from spilling out a dozen insults against the ridiculous accusation.

“You said you needed me.” Or at least, that’s what Regina was sure she had read. Doubts began to flood her senses and for a moment she considered this being a misunderstanding.

“I…stupid phone,” she muttered, but said nothing more, leaving them both in silence. Regina sighed. Loudly.

“At the town line,” she mumbled.

“What the hell are you doing there?” Rage tingled in the form of magic. She ended the call, not wanting the hear another excuse, shoved the phone into her blazer then waved both hands, landing behind the town line, onlooking Emma’s bug.

After taking a deep breath her legs began to move closer and closer until her hand gripped around the handle. With a mind swimming with a dozen thoughts she couldn’t quite get a hold of she found herself yanking the door open before dropping down rather forcefully onto the seat.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She slammed the door closed, bringing her knees up then lent each elbow on them to lean forwards.

The bug, as usual, was filled with wrappers and was pretty much what she would call a mess. Emma sat on the opposite seat, head in her arms over the wheel.

“So?”

Emma’s shoulders lifted then slouched again but she didn’t offer much else. Regina shook her head; the general awfulness of the day had her gripping tightly onto her anger. “You’re thinking of abandoning everyone who loves you and all I get is a shrug?”

Emma lifted her head, wiped the back of her palm over both cheeks before glaring at Regina. Her eyes were already red rimmed but her no doubt previous sorrow filled eyes were swirling into something deeper.

She didn’t say a word and something about her silence was haunting. Regina felt her chest cave inwards and couldn’t help the hand which was reaching out towards her. It was met with a sharp slap from Emma.

“Don’t-” Emma pushed the door to her bug open before stepping outside. Regina swiftly followed and after she’d slammed the door shut with as much vigour as Emma had she walked up to where Emma was pacing back and forwards dangerously close to the line. When she was close enough to reach her Emma turned, crossed her arms then stood facing Regina.

“Why are you here?” she asked, a deathly glare in those eyes which had oozed love only days earlier.

Regina huffed then ran a hand through her hair. The truth was after she’d seen that message her heart had leapt to her throat. The thought of being needed was terrifying, but not as daunting as the prospect of being unwanted. “To stop you from doing something stupid,” she settled with instead. It was safe, it wasn’t about her.

Something was swirling beneath Emma’s eyes but she turned away before a few stray tears rolled down each cheek. “Why should I stay?”

“Emma-”

She snapped her head to look back at Regina. “I know you’re all lying to me. Whenever I get this feeling, I get tossed away. Why would this time be any different?”

Regina swallowed then took a step forwards. Emma was looking at her curiously but it was still there, whatever she was holding within green eyes. “Emma,” she said softly, her anger somehow managing to simmer, “running isn’t the answer.”

Emma’s head bowed and she shook it whilst still looking to the ground. “I never wanted any of this.”

“Well I’m sorry Emma. Henry needs you, your parents need you, I-”

Their eyes met but Regina kept her lips shut tight. Emma breathed deeply a few times before she whispered, “what about what I need?”

She felt a spark of memory break through. The times when she often wondered the same thing with her mother, the king, Snow, each and every time she’d been shoved to fit the mould they provided. When would it be her turn? She was still searching, but still filled with enough self-doubts not to look and see what was really in front of her. Her heart almost collapsed under the weight of her memories. A different one. A curse. A baby. Emma.

Still suffering from the effects of growing up alone.

Regina bit into her lip hard enough to draw blood but her throat was closing. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t do anything. She wanted to leave Emma all over again so she wouldn’t have to face her own reality. _Selfish, selfish, selfish._

Emma didn’t seem to notice her inner turmoil because her arms were uncrossing then hands were being shoved into her front pockets. _“_ Unlovable,” she muttered. Her eyes were still staring at the ground but now each arm was snaking around her middle.

Regina flew forwards, gripping onto Emma’s arms and shook her slightly. “Don’t you dare say that.” Unlovable? She held her gaze, wanting to tear apart anyone or anything which had ever made Emma believe such a thing. “Don’t,” she whispered softly.

Emma shrugged her off then started to shuffle around. “But it’s true. No one has ever loved me. My parents created their perfect family without me. No one needs me unless I’m saving them.” She crossed her arms again, her head bowed almost as if she was ashamed to speak of the things rooted so deeply inside. “You don’t want me.”

“Emma-”

“You left me.” She lifted her head until their eyes locked. “Why did you leave me?”

Her heart plummeted so far downwards at the shake in Emma’s voice. Her eyes were glistening so she blinked rapidly. This wasn’t about her, yet reasons she wanted to spill only got jammed in her throat. Her mouth opened and closed and Emma stood waiting for an explanation. Almost as if she was longing for someone to tell her she was wrong. She swallowed hard. Emma had fallen in love with the wrong person.

“I don’t know Emma,” she said through tears, “but please know it wasn’t you.”

Emma let out a soft chuckle which resulted in another tear escaping. Her head had twisted to the side so Regina could only imagine the hurt look on her face. “Why won’t you just tell me you don’t love me?”

She said nothing and Emma’s shoulders began to shake as sobs bubbled from her chest. When had Emma become like this? So vulnerable in a way Regina was almost envious of. She wasn’t even sure if she’d ever seen Emma cry and thought back to her earlier conversation about Emma being able to handle the truth. Now she wasn’t so sure. But perhaps there was strength in there too. Emma was hurting and she’d finally allowed herself to let it out.

Regina, on the other hand, was still so trapped inside herself she couldn’t even wrap Emma up in protective arms as she cried. So she stood there letting her own tears slip free. The deep rooted hatred she had of herself only grew the more she did nothing to comfort Emma; the longer she stood here because she wasn’t worthy, she wasn’t enough; she’d hurt Emma but by not letting her in she was only hurting her more.

“I don’t deserve you,” she whispered when the moment became unbearable.

It took a moment, but eventually Emma looked to where Regina stood with stained cheeks. Emma seemed taken aback by the sight. Emma’s tears had stopped and her chest was becoming lest frantic in its movements. She looked exhausted, much like Regina. Her fight appeared to have withered so Regina stood watching as her feet took small steps to where she stood with hands trembling by her sides.

Emma fell into her, body pressing against her and arms wrapping themselves tightly around her waist. Her own arms locked around Emma’s body and squeezed. With one hand, she brushed through Emma’s hair so she could rest her head on Emma’s shoulder, sighing at the way Emma’s body was moulding against her own.

“You feel so good,” she whispered down Emma’s ear, followed by, “I’m sorry.” Even if she didn’t know what exactly it was she was apologizing for. “I’m so sorry.”

Emma buried her face in Regina’s neck, tugging her closer and squeezing her eyes tightly. Regina’s eyes fluttered closed at the sensation, as they began to sway ever so slightly, things they needed to discuss pushed to the very back of Regina’s mind now Emma was in her arms.

She didn’t know if she was doing the right thing. But she couldn’t let go. The entire world could have been crumbling around them, but for the life of her. She couldn’t let go.


	7. Honesty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, it's been a while! Sorry for taking so long. I should be updating a little more frequently from now on, I have a lot more already written, it just needs some editing and well, making a bit more coherent. Enjoy :)

The sun had long faded by the time they had returned to the bug. It crawled down the road, headlights illuminating their path, the humming the only sound in the disserted streets. Regina ended a call with a sigh and shoved her phone back into her blazer, turning her head to look at Emma. “They’ll probably smoother you for a few days, but-” she frowned at Emma’s white knuckles.

“You told them?” Emma had asked Regina to talk to her parents to stop their incessant calling. Not to tell them why she’d disappeared.

“Emma, even your idiotic parents are smart enough to realise why I found you at the town line. I wasn’t about to lie to them with everything else going on.” She rolled her eyes then reached out to twiddle with the radio, in need of a distraction. She huffed when all she received was static. “How old is this thing, Emma?” Slouching back onto the seat, she sighed loudly.

“It’s just a radio, Regina. It doesn’t work. Will you stop insulting my bug?” Though the silence was niggling at Emma all the same. “I should’ve just gone,” she mumbled, sighing deeply.

Regina closed her eyes, shaking her head, growing tired of the emotional tornadoes Emma was putting everyone through. She had only just managed to calm Emma enough so she could drive them back. There was no way she was letting Emma freefall into the pits of despair all over again.

Sitting up right she took a deep breath. “Pity party’s over.” Pushing on the dash board with one hand, Regina twisted her entire body so she could look directly at Emma. “Our lives are chaotic, they always are. But you don’t run. Not anymore. Your family are here and deep down, you know that.” Emma in her arms had felt good. But she wasn’t about to sit back and watch as Emma shattered to the ground.

“I’m not having a pity part. If any of you would tell me what’s going on, then maybe I wouldn’t feel pushed out.” She had a point. Regina tightened her mouth and clenched a fist to stop herself from spilling Snow’s secret. Perhaps her anger towards them had once been ill-fitted, but if there were ever a reason to throttle the Charmings. It would be over this.

“Then go to your parents. It’s them you need to talk to. Running isn’t going to get you answers, is it?” She clamped her mouth shut.

“There is something they’re not telling me?” Emma turned a corner sharply causing Regina to grasp at the door handle. Emma glanced towards the noise, slowing the bug right down.

Regina gained her composure and sighed, reminding herself to never set foot in this bug again. “Does it matter? If you’re just going to run anyway? Not that you would get very far in this death trap of yours.” Emma’s jaw clenched and Regina ran a hand through her hair. Five minutes with Emma Swan could drive anyone to frustration.

“I’m not going to run away.” Emma’s grip on the wheel tightened. She breathed heavily through her nostrils as the constant insults flared to life. “And for the love of god, what do you have against my bug?”

Regina gave an incredulous chuckle and shake of the head. “You’re really going to pull that crap with me?” If anyone knew a thing or two about denial, it was Regina. The web of lies she was capable of spinning was astonishing.

The bug slowed as Emma pulled into the curb outside of the mansion. With the engine switched off the silence settled in deeply. Regina crossed one leg over the other and began to tap her fingers over her knee, waiting. Emma sighed, slipped off the seat belt then twisted to face Regina.

“You really think I would leave Henry?” The quiet tone to Emma’s voice had Regina removing her seat belt and sitting so she could look directly at Emma.

She smiled softly. “No, Emma, I don’t.” Emma’s shoulders relaxed and she nodded tightly, turning her head to look out of the front window. “Then what were you doing?” she asked, the comment about the bug long forgotten.

“I don’t even have any of my things.” She gave a little chuckle, “not that I have much to begin with,” she said, looking back at Regina, “but there are some things I wouldn’t leave without.” Regina scanned the bug as if to confirm it were true. Apart from the usual mess, it was empty.

“What wouldn’t you leave?” she asked softly, attention fixed on Emma.

Emma frowned as if considering whether or not to share such information. Regina didn’t even know exactly why she had asked, except for this persistent need to know everything there ever was to know about Emma. “You don’t have to-”

“My baby blanket.” Emma looked down, fiddling with a piece of lose fabric on her jeans. “It’s the only thing I owned growing up which made me feel like I was wanted.”

Regina swallowed, reaching out a hand to squeeze Emma’s wrist. “Tell me about it,” she whispered, voice heavy with overwhelming guilt.

“It’s the blanket my parents made for me. Emma is written in purple letters and, well, that’s how they knew what to name me. It was wrapped around me when I was found.” Regina snatched her hand away and diverted her gaze through the window.

“Regina.” Emma looked up, placing a gentle hand on top of where Regina’s rested on her knee. “I don’t blame you.”

“You should.” Regina wanted nothing more than to waft her hands and poof away. Escaping any mention of a past she still had nightmares over. “They would never have had to put you in that wardrobe if it wasn’t for me.” They’d never talked about this. For good reason.

“Then Gold wouldn’t have needed you to cast the curse if he had gone with Neal through the portal. You weren’t to blame for my parents shoving a new born into a fucking tree.” She looped her fingers under Regina’s hand and squeezed. “I know who you are, Regina,” she said, emphasising each syllable.

Nodding stiffly, Regina didn’t otherwise move. She wanted desperately to believe those words. “You can try to spin it anyway you want, but it doesn’t take away from what I did.” Perhaps she wasn’t entirely to blame, but she wasn’t faultless either.

“I know that, but if it’s what you’re looking for, then I forgive you.” Running her fingertips slowly over the back of Regina’s knuckles, Emma pushed her palm beneath Regina’s, slipping her fingers between the gaps until their fingers intertwined.

Staring at their conjoined hands, Regina’s eyes glazed over. With a lump in her throat, she looked up to Emma, noting the pink tint to her cheeks. In any other circumstance, it would’ve made her smile. Perhaps she would have even teased Emma about it.

“Why?” Regina hoped there was a good enough answer for Emma’s forgiveness. Something she could cling onto. Because the thought of the pain she had caused Emma managed to keep that strong barrier up between them.

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t do it all again, for Henry?” Emma shrugged, squeezing her fingers with a smile which dared to be kissed.

“I would do it all again.” She would. Every second of it. Her mother, the king, countless deaths. She may have hated the person she had become, but for Henry. For everything they shared and the love she had believed she would never feel. It’d all been worth it.

“See? Stop punishing yourself. All of this, it’s about them, not you.” Emma’s eyes went wide and she snapped her head to the side.

Regina mulled over what Emma had said. There was something to be grasped onto, if only she could put her own tangled feelings to the back of her mind. She didn’t want to give up the warmth from Emma’s hand or the flip of her stomach from each time Emma’s would squeeze her fingers. But there was something.

“You wanted their attention?” Of course. They had Neal; were keeping secrets. No wonder Emma felt like an outsider in her own family. The lonely little girl beneath the leather was fighting her way to the surface. It made Regina’s heart ache all the more.

“I don’t know. I didn’t plan it. I found myself at the town line, waiting for one of them to call. When they didn’t, I accidently text you, but I… I think-” her bottom lip trembled and Regina was met with the back of Emma’s head as glazed eyes stared out into the night.

“You wanted your parents to find you. To bring you home.” She would kill them. In her mind. A thousand times over. Emma nodded and bit her lip. Regina lifted their conjoined hands to place a gentle kiss to the back of Emma’s hand. She hummed softly and Regina smirked, content the risk had been worth it.

They fell back into silence.

“My bug,” Emma said, turning her head back around with red rimmed eyes, “not that I could leave it behind, but I wouldn’t want to leave this either.” Regina took a deep breath to push down on the lingering thoughts of homicide and tried for a smile. No point in pushing when it became clear Emma had no intention of sharing anything further.

“This old thing.” Tipping her head, Regina widened her eyes at Emma with a smirk. There wasn’t a single thing about Emma she hated. No matter what she said about the bug. Or the jacket. Which, if she were being honest, she found rather appealing.

“Yeah. I stole it from Neal. Who stole it.” Chuckling at the memories, Emma reciprocated with a watery smile. A small residue of pain remained, but as far Emma could tell, she’d moved on. “I’ve had this longer than any house I’ve lived in. It’s kind of…like…my home, you know?” She shrugged and Regina felt the guilt stab her in the stomach.

“I’m…sorry. I didn’t realise it meant so much to you.” Regina wanted to add that Emma would always have a home with her and Henry. But doubted the double-edged meaning and false hope would do either of them any good. Emma simply shrugged again, content to let to comments slide.

Regina squeezed their fingers and raised both brows. “I’ll tell you about Gold,” she said, hoping to make Emma feel included.

“What about Gold?” Emma asked, frowning.

“He wants your heart,” she said, getting straight to the point. Emma’s frown morphed into a smirk. Then her shoulders were shaking and she grinned.

“He’ll have a…hard time getting it.” She chuckled, shook her head and sighed. “Not even your mother could take it out.”

Regina squinted at Emma as if she had gone mad, but the chuckling died down quickly enough. Regina’s mouth formed a perfect ‘o’ shape once her mind caught up. A heart protected by true love.

“Regina?” The laughter died and was quickly replaced with concern. “Why does he want it anyway?”

“That’s the million-dollar question. They won’t tell me a thing. It’s infuriating.” At least she finally understood why they had yet to dispose of her. That piece of information she would keep to herself. “It’s getting late Emma. Maybe you should be getting back to the loft before your parents throw a fit.”

“Can I walk you to your door?” Emma ducked her head and Regina’s heart pounded in her chest. A ghost of a smile graced her lips. She nodded, uncertain, but she wasn't exactly ready to say goodbye either.

Stepping out of the bug, Regina slammed the door and walked towards the mansion. The moment Emma came up beside her, Regina slipped their hands back together. She could get used to this. For a moment, she felt light, until she twisted her head.

“Does Henry know?” Emma asked, jaw clenching.

“I don’t know. I didn’t tell your parents not to tell him. I don’t lie to him. We don’t lie to him.” They’d both done exactly that in the past and had suffered the consequences. Regina wouldn’t let herself make the same mistake again.

“I know,” she said, nodding tightly, “but I don’t want him to hate me. To think I would abandon him all over again.” A tremble ran through Emma, almost like an echo of her past. Regina squeezed her hand reassuringly.

They reached the porch and Regina let go of Emma’s hand, turning to face her. “No matter what happens, he knows you love him.”

“I hope so.” She bounced on her heels and hooked her fingers into the back pocket of her jeans. “So…”

“So…”

“Hi.” She shrugged, giving Regina a lopsided smile. Closing the distance, Emma leant forwards, intent on capturing Regina’s lips.

A hand flew to Emma’s chest, “Emma,” she said thickly, pushing gently, cursing at herself as she did. Emma’s eyes were looking between her own, scrunching closed. She jerked backwards as if she’d been burnt, arms crossing around her chest.

“I’m…sorry.”

“No-” she shook her head, “Emma, you don’t…” she sighed and tried for a smile. One which didn’t reach her eyes. “Will you tell Henry I love him? Maybe we can all go to Granny’s. Screw Gold-” she chuckled, pushing down hard on those undealt with feelings, “we could do dinner one night this week,” she said, hoping with everything she hadn’t managed to crush Emma all over again.

“Yeah.” Emma shoved her hands into her coat, taking another step backwards. “Yeah. I guess I’ll give you a call.” She turned, taking large strides to get back to her bug.

Regina didn’t move until the bug was out of sight. When she did, she went straight to the kitchen, pouring herself a large glass of wine. Each clip of her heels and sip of the wine disturbed the silence and it brought Regina’s mind back to the days when Emma had been nothing more than an obstacle in her way.

A small part thought that perhaps she was being irrational. Her fears and uncertainties were useless and she was pushing Emma away because not having anyone is what she does best. It was her idea of an unhappy ending and no matter how hard she tried, no matter what anyone else would tell her, a deep seed of hatred still existed. Reminding her, she didn’t deserve to be happy.

Because not having someone, is the worse curse imaginable, after all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I am incredibly sorry for how long it has taken me to update. I was utterly stuck on getting this done, but I have some more written and ready for uploading. I'll get them out in the next coming weeks and that should give me enough time to get the rest finished without a massive void in-between! I'm obviously terrible at sticking to any timeline, but I will try. 
> 
> I do hope some of you have stuck around. I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of waiting a while for updates, but I do hope that you continue to enjoy this story. 
> 
> Comments are always welcome!

No one in Gold’s tribe seemed to be walking around town all that often. So, when the following day came around and Henry slipped in through the front door of the mansion, bag pack slung over one shoulder, a hand clinching onto the strap, dragging his feet up the stairs with a face of thunder, Regina didn’t think for a second he was in any danger.

Even they wouldn’t expect her to give up her son.

“Henry,” she called, hand on the bottom of the banister, the other on her hip, “is everything alright? I thought you were staying at the loft.” She hadn’t heard anything from the Charmings, Emma or her son after Emma had left the following evening. As far as she was aware, nothing had changed.

“I wanted to come back home.” He readjusted the bag on his shoulder and now Regina’s attention had been brought to it, the zip wasn’t fastened to the top and an array of material threatened to spill out onto the ground. He shuffled slightly from where he stood on the top of the stairs, eyes sliding to the ground before looking back to Regina. “I missed my room.”

“You know you’re always welcome here Henry. I missed you,” she said, wishing this conversation wasn’t happening over a stairway, “why don’t you get settled in and we’ll talk over dinner?” In the meantime, she needed to find out what on earth had happened.

“Okay mom. I missed you too.” He turned, shoulders slouched and continued the dragging of his feet until he was out of Regina’s view and most likely all the way to his room. Regina envisioned him dumping his bag on the ground, throwing himself onto the bed and kicking off his shoes. She smiled to herself; the mess she could deal with as long as it meant her son was in his home.

Regina made her way to the kitchen, with the hope of finding something adequate to feed her son. There was no doubt in her mind Emma was a good parent, but her food choices were something else. No doubt they’d been living of pizza, pop tarts and grilled cheese. With any luck, Snow or David had managed to cook them a decent meal on occasion.

After finding some ingredients for a pasta bake and shoving them into the oven, Regina grabbed for her phone and called the only person she could think of. She was sure if anything had happened between Emma and Henry she wouldn’t want to talk about it. Along with the image of Emma becoming skittish and almost taking off at a dead run last night. She’ll talk to Emma when the time is right. They both could use some space and this isn’t about avoiding anything.

“Regina. Is everything okay? I was about to call. Don’t get worried, I’m sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation, but Henry usually appears at the loft at least half an hour earlier, but he still isn’t here, but I’m sure he’s-”

“Henry’s with me, Snow-” she sighed with the utmost relief to stop the woman from her insistent babbling. There was a tiny part of her elevated that she could still make her former step daughter squirm. She smirked and poured a glass of wine.

“That’s a relief. I was getting worried. Neither David or Emma are home and I can’t get a hold of them. Is he okay? He seemed upset last night.” Regina tapped the side of her glass and took another sip before speaking on.

“He’s hardly said a word to me. He appeared after school and has been in his room ever since. I’m guessing it has something to do with Emma.” No matter how hard she tried, her chest squeezed forcefully.

“He took it pretty hard. Emma ended up sleeping on the couch, because he wouldn’t share a room with her even if they have their own beds. But she wouldn’t tell us much about what happened either. She…”

Regina leaned closer to the phone as if it would make Snow spill her secrets, when none came she realised she would have to do some pushing. “She…what? What did she do?” The knot tightened harder and she found herself refilling the wine glass when her intention was to have a single glass before dinner.

“Henry gave her the cold shoulder and Emma, she went really still and looked at him, like she wasn’t really looking at Henry, but through him and she told him ‘if you don’t want me kid, then go back to your mother’s and join the club’ and flopped on the couch and ignored all of us for the rest of the night.” Regina could hear the faint sounds on the other sound of the line, as if Snow was handling her infant son whilst talking to Regina. She could do with talking to her face to face, but even if those imbeciles weren’t walking themselves around town, there were potential eyes everywhere.

“Regina,” Snow said after the line had been silent for far too long to be considered comfortable, “what’s going on between you two?” But Regina wasn’t listening. Her free hand was shaking and she had already managed to finish the contents of her wine glass.

“I’ll kill her,” she whispered. The knuckles of her clenched fists turned white. “I can’t believe she would, Henry’s a child who had every right to be upset that his idiot mother almost ran away and left him and she treated him like it was his fault.” More than kill her. Her feelings may be a tangled, but when it came to her son, no one would escape her wrath if they hurt him.

“Regina. You and I both know you’re not going to kill anyone. Least of all Emma. It looked like she reached a limit and just…she didn’t mean it. She was in a foul mood all morning.” Maybe she wouldn’t kill her and if it wasn’t for the very fact that Emma came just below Henry on the scale of people she wouldn’t allow to get hurt, then she might have considered sending a fireball in her direction.

“I know, but I don’t like anyone hurting my son and whatever is going on with Emma right now, he doesn’t deserve to be on the receiving end.” If any of what was going on between the two of them found its way back to Henry then she would end any idea that they could reach a place more than friendship.

“Would you like to fill me in on my daughter’s life? She won’t talk to me, Regina and you seem to be spending more time with her than I do and we live together.” It would be so easy to confide in Snow about the mixed signals she insists on sending Emma, whilst her own feelings swirl like a tornado.

She can’t add to Emma’s trust issues. What they had talked about was between them and even though there was a small residual of anger remaining against the Charming’s after her talk with Emma the previous night, Emma was her own worst enemy.

Snow and David were certainly selfish and had no idea, for the most part, when their actions seriously affected their daughter, but Emma shutting them out wasn’t exactly helping the situation either. How on earth did Regina get stuck in the middle of this mess?

“Emma’s…going through a lot right now. I think-” she paused for a brief second wondering how to word this and explain the thoughts circling, “I believe Emma feels pushed out or that she’s going to be left. She knows you and David are keeping something from her and you must understand how much that would affect Emma, after-”

“But she knows we love her. We’re her parents. We’re not going to send her away. Regina, I don’t understand. I know she’s not had an easy life, but she must know we’re not like all those people who left her.” Regina pinched the bridge of her nose and contemplated pouring a fresh glass of wine. She’d probably get more sense talking to a brick wall.

“You and I both know that’s not how it works. Emma needs both of you, not like she would admit it. Make sure you’re there for her and give her what _she_ needs. Not what you need.” For once.

“I do, what makes you think I wouldn’t?”

“Experience,” she said simply, letting the statement linger, hearing a shuffling and a slight grunt come from the other side of the phone.

“Sorry, I needed to put Neal down,” she murmured, “but I always do what’s best for Emma, how could you think-”

“No, you do what’s best for you. She needs you to be honest with her, even if that means you’ll receive your own version of a cold shoulder.” Regina wondered for a moment how a conversation had started with her wanting to kill that frustratingly beautiful woman to defending her to her own mother.

“Regina! Of course I want to tell her, but right now both me and David agree it’s not the best of times. She isn’t in a good place and we don’t think telling her right now would do anyone any good.” Regina sighed, because she perhaps had a point. Though she didn’t believe for a second they were doing that for Emma.

“And…we, might have, kissed,” she said, wanting to put an end to the loop they would undoubtedly find themselves in and Regina did not have the mental energy to be going at it with Snow White.

“You and Emma…you…kissed,” she said, her voice quiet and filled with utter disbelief.

“No. Me and the cricket. Of course I mean Emma. It was after we all met at the library. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, actually, so if you would refrain from blabbing and telling Emma, that would be wonderful.” So much for keeping her mouth shut. It had felt like a good idea thirty seconds ago.

“Do you have feelings for her?” She asked, as if she wasn’t talking to the woman who had made her life miserable for decades. It had Regina shake her head.

“I expected yelling. Why aren’t you yelling?” Pushing off the counter, she gave a quick check in the oven, moved back over and perched on a stool.

“I will yell if you continue to avoid the question.” Regina rolled her eyes and sighed.

“She has…feelings for me,” she said, missing out the important detail which was extremely important to her, but something no one else, besides them, needed to hear. “I don’t know how I feel, if I’m being honest.”

“And you call me an idiot.”

“Excuse me?” That’s because Snow most definitely was one. That wasn’t up for debate.

“I’ve known you since I was ten and I’ve never met a person in my life, better at lying to themselves than you. And before you use out past as any kind of excuse, know me and David have already accepted the fact that you both share puppy love and I would be extremely happy to be maid of honour at your wedding.” For a moment, Regina stood with her eyes wide and mouth open, unsure as to whether she was joking or not.

“You’d be lucky if you got the role of flower girl,” she said instead, unsure of what on earth she was supposed to say to that.

Not as if she could forgive herself. No matter what anyone else said.

Neal began screeching on the other end. Regina was more than happy to have the conversation end abruptly. “I’ll let you go. I need to talk to Henry anyway.”

“Yes, ok, let me know how he is. I’ll see if I can get through to Emma. I’ll talk to you soon Regina. Stay safe.” The line went dead before Regina had a chance to say anything more. Those last two words rung like a bell in her mind. No one cared about her safety. Until Henry. Until Emma. And now…Snow. The feeling was uneasy, but not unwanted.

A small smile attempted to tug on her lips. Then faded when all she could think of was the statement Emma had said to Henry. The anger subsided. She let her eyes close and she placed an elbow on the table to rest her head in her hand. There were too many doubts and unforgivable sins for her to push past that would allow her to ever give Emma what she deserved.

On a sigh, she stood and walked to the bottom of the stairs. “Henry,” she called, deciding she could untangle the mess in her head later and instead, spend some much-needed time with her son.

***

Buried in paper work at the station, Emma didn’t let her mind wander to the night she had left Regina on the porch. It had seemed they were making progress. Emma had replayed Regina voluntarily intertwining their fingers as they’d walked to the door. Then there was the second rejection. One minute they had been acting as if something more could happen between them. Until a hand was placed on her chest and it burnt as if it had left a scar.

Not only that, the moment she had returned to the loft, her parents had enveloped her in a group hug, reminding her that she was loved and wanted and oh so special. Created from their true love, a saviour and it had dampened Emma’s spirit all over again.

To make matters worse, she’d been awful to her son. Henry had gone back to Regina’s. Snow had given her a brief text. Neither of them knew if it was safe. The whole point of Henry staying at the loft was so Regina could go undercover without putting him in danger. Not that she could blame him. That night Henry had made his feelings perfectly clear and Regina would be more than happy to have her son home.

Which left her job intact. At least she could get some peace from her thoughts here. There was still Gold to deal with and she’d reached a point where she wanted to avoid Regina, not try again. Finding anything out right about now seemed next to impossible. Not when her parents continued to lie to her, she didn’t want to speak to Regina and her son didn’t want to speak to her.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your desk so clear.” David lent against the door frame of her office, smiling brightly. He passed over a foam cup and paper bag, which had Emma humming in delight. Coffee and a bear claw was an instant mood booster under any circumstance.

“Thanks,” she muttered, taking a sip from the coffee and fell back into her chair. David perched on the edge of her desk, taking a sip from his own cup.

“How you doing?” he asked, tipping his head up and giving her the world’s best fatherly smile. “Since we found out about Gold’s return, it seems like we’ve hardly seen you.”

She shook her head, “I’m fine, there’s just been a lot going on. I like it here, it’s quiet.” For the most part, until Grumpy started a drunken fight or one of the fairies was acting suspicious or another monster hit the town. The in-between, however dull it may be, was peaceful. “You heard from Regina?” The not knowing was killing her, but if it got her father off her trail, then she would take that too.

“I actually haven’t heard from her. My guess is she’s spending some time with Henry. But since she found out what Gold wanted, I’m presuming she hasn’t gone back.”

“That’s what’s worrying me. Regina tells me he wants my heart. I know it’s not even been a week yet, but I haven’t heard or seen anything from them. We know their up to something, but what, I can’t seem to figure out.” Regina hadn’t said much, but mulling it over didn’t leave her with much more thought on the matter. She doubted he wanted her dead. She would think the saviour was worth more alive than dead. Not that that line of thinking extended to herself.

“Me and your mother have been talking it over. Our guess is they’re waiting for Regina to return with your heart. Maybe once it becomes apparent she isn’t going to be getting it for them, that’s when we’ll hear more than radio silence.” Emma hummed, running her father’s thoughts through her mind. It was the most she’d spoken to any of them in days, so they hadn’t had a chance to discuss any plans together. But-

“They asked Regina to take it?” Hands flew to the sides of her chair. She pushed up enough to elevate herself from the seat without standing, gaze directed at her father. She…hadn’t mentioned that part.

“I thought Regina told you last night. Why wouldn’t she-”

“Son of a-” she stood upright, shaking her arms in front of herself. Emotions mixed within her stomach. Omitting the truth, no doubt, as if she could be enough.

“Emma?” He frowned, but she continued to jump and shake herself on the spot as if getting ready for battle. “Emma, what is it?”

She couldn’t bring herself to form words. Gold was far from stupid and the means of him obtaining her heart had crossed her mind more than once.

Regina had left.

They had talked. It had felt good in her arms. Emma had reached an understanding when it came to Regina. The self-loathing was present in Emma too. But if she…if Gold was right, then why was she keeping her distance?

“My heart can’t be taken out,” she said stiffly, body filled with tension, “remember in the Enchanted Forest when I met Cora and she couldn’t take it?” She wouldn’t look to him. She couldn’t. Telling him this might result in more rejections.

“Your heart it protected by true love, so Gold can’t take it.” He frowned, mulling over those words and already feeling eminently better. “But what does that have to do with Regina?”

“A heart protected by true love, can be taken out with true love.” Biting back the tears, she dared a glance at her father. He still wore that puzzled expression. He wasn’t to know everything which had transpired between them recently, but it really didn’t take a genius to figure it out.

“I still don’t see what-”

“He needs Regina to take it out.” She went stiff, unable to look her father in the eye. Clarifying it didn’t make it any easier. Regina was the one who had grown up with this. She was the one desperate enough to cling onto an unworthy soulmate who had ultimately left her. For Emma…she pushed David’s shoulder, exiting the office.

“Emma-” he followed swiftly, his arms wide open from the moment his daughter had turned with glistening eyes and clenched fists. His arms were around her shoulders in an instant. Their relationship had grown so much in these last years, that he feared the truth would put an end to it. For right now, however, he became the father Emma had needed her entire life.

“She doesn’t want me, dad.” Her voice trembled, but she wasn’t going to let herself cry over this. Not again. She squeezed her arms around him, relaxing into the fatherly embrace. She shook all the same.

The flicker of hope she’d been clinging too, withered and left. Like Regina.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More updates!! I'll try to get these out as quick as I can. I do hope you enjoy and let me know what you think :)

A shaking hand gripped onto the spoon which Regina stirred around the mug. She starred into it. The liquid swirled, much like her thoughts. The spoon clanked on the side, a small amount of tea splashing with it, but Regina waved it off as a small problem she could deal with later.

Picking up two mugs she walked to the bottom of the stairs, “Henry,” she called, “there’s a hot chocolate waiting for you in the kitchen.” It had been like this since his return. He went to school, came home and only came out of his room to eat or drink. Regina had tried to talk to him, but so far, nothing seemed to be getting through. She continued into the next room.

“Thanks,” said Snow, taking one mug and bringing it to her lips. She sighed and nodded, crossed one leg over the other to place the mug on her knee, cupping it between her palms to keep them warm. “How is Henry?”

“I still feel like killing her.” She perched on the opposite couch, not meeting Snow’s eyes. She took a sip of her coffee then placed it on the table. “Thanks for coming,” she added and looked up with a small, but genuine, smile.

Snow smiled and nodded. “I’m guessing that means he’s not doing well?” she asked, keeping her voice even. Emma would always be her daughter and she would defend her to the ends of the earth, but Henry was her grandson and Regina had become a friend. Family.

“I think he needs time-” fingers ran through her dark hair, “I hope at least. He eventually forgave me, after all.” She diverted her eyes again, swallowing at the mention of those memories. She had never meant to hurt him, but the need to keep him close had out-weighed any rational thought.

“I’ve tried talking to her, but she spends most of the time at the station. The only things Emma will talk to me about is Henry. I know she regrets what she said-”

“Then why hasn’t she come here? She knows where Henry is, what Gold wants. At this point I think we could all go out partying in the middle of the street and those imbeciles wouldn’t do a thing.” They needed Regina. Without her, Gold couldn’t get his hands on the one thing he wanted. If she thought either her son or Snow were in any danger, she wouldn’t let them in ten feet of her. But after countless days and nights with no sight of the tiresome threesome, Regina had let her guard down.

“I don’t-” Snow took a long sip of her tea, looking to the ground.

“Are you going to finish that sentence or is the floor really that fascinating?” Regina reached for her own mug, wishing it was something stronger than coffee.

“I don’t think she feels welcome here,” Snow said, lifting both her head and a palm to stop Regina before she lashed out, “after we talked on the phone the other night, David came home from the station because Emma decided to pull a night shift. He said she was shaken up about a lot of stuff, mainly you.” She brought the cup to her lips, keeping her eyes focused on Regina, waiting for her to react.

“She must know that’s absurd,” she said, voice cracking on the last syllable. She had never meant for Emma to feel this way. Closing both eyes, she shook her head, anger bubbling inside. She didn’t have the faintest clue where to direct it. “She’s always welcome here, you can tell her I said that and tell her to stop feeling so damn sorry for herself.”

“The very fact you won’t go and tell her yourself, says it all Regina.” She took another sip of her tea. It seemed fitting.

“I’m not-”

Snow raised a brow.

“Fine. I’m avoiding her.” Weren’t they here to find a way to knock some sense into that blonde and try to figure out the next move with Gold? How did this turn into an inquisition against her?

“Emma knows that Gold asked you to take her heart. I’m surprised the three of us never realised why he had asked you. But she did.” Snow took another sip. Regina wanted to knock that cup away. She put her own mug down and placed her head in her arms.

“This keeps getting worse,” she mumbled, pushing herself back up and facing Snow again, “we’re going to have to do something. I…”

“Mom.” Henry shuffled into the room, the mug between his palms. “You’re not going to take her heart are you?” His gaze slipped between the two women. He continued to stand, looking at them with so many questions he hadn’t even thought to have asked.

“No. Henry, of course not.” She stood and was over to her son in an instant. Directing him to the couch, she sat back down next to him and took his free hand in hers. “I promise you Henry, nothing is going to happen to your mother.” Not on her watch. No matter how frustrated she became with that woman, she would see no harm to her.

“But you just said you wanted to kill her.” He looked to his grandmother, confused. People used expressions they didn’t mean all of the time and his mother had changed. He didn’t fear her; he never had, not really, but there was a time her eyes were distant, whilst her grip was strong.

“How long have you been stood there, young man?” Snow asked. A quick glance at Regina saw to it, it would be up to her to break this tension. Regina had stiffened and undoubtedly needed a moment to recover. There was a time none of them had believed her capable of such love. But Henry had been the one to bring the woman Snow had once known back to life.

He shrugged and took a slurp of his drink, using the back of his sleeve against his upper lip. “You guys never tell me anything,” he said, not removing his hand from Regina’s.

“We do that to protect you, Henry,” Regina said soothingly, “we don’t do it just to keep you in the dark. No matter what, you’re my son and if I believe it is best you don’t know something, I won’t tell you. What Gold wants, that’s none of your concern.” She cupped his chin and smiled at him, tickling under it until he smiled back. They would need to talk more about this. For right now she was simply glad to see him smile.

“Okay mom-” he rolled his eyes and looked between the two of them, “but since I already know everything now, can’t you tell me what’s going on?” He looked hopeful and perhaps there was a way to reveal a few things without causing him harm.

Snow and Regina shared a look, an understanding. Regina looked back to her son. “What exactly did you…guess, from what you heard?” She wanted to reprimand him for eavesdropping, but that was a conversation for another time.

“Well, Gold wants Ma’s heart and he asked you to take it and you’re avoiding Ma and she’s being really moody all of the time. So I can’t really blame you.” Regina widened her eyes and tipped her head, though she couldn’t deny it. “She doesn’t want me anyway,” he said with a nonchalant shrug, “but I don’t want her to get hurt.”

“Henry.” Snow placed the empty mug on the table, placing each elbow on her knees and leant forwards, “why would you think that? Emma didn’t mean to take everything out on you, sweetheart, you must know she loves you.”

Henry tipped his head towards Regina, searching confirmation. She smiled at him, once again cupping his chin. Glad he would once again allow to show such gestures. “Of course she loves you, Henry. She shouldn’t have said what she did to you, but even I know that your idiot mother-”

“Regina!”

“What?” she said, directing a quick glance at Snow, “she is an idiot. That’s why I said I wanted to kill her.” Regina returned her gaze back to her son. “Because she hurt you. Not that I would of course,” she added. Just in case.

“I know mom.” He shuffled and moved out of her grip, finishing off his hot chocolate and placing the mug by his feet. “But she was going to run away. I’m not good enough for her.” Regina’s heart squeezed. Her arms followed suit around her son. She held onto him for a few seconds before letting his squirming body go. He would soon be a teenager and the changes were already starting to show.

“I can promise you one thing Henry. Emma wasn’t going to leave. She wouldn’t leave you.” Henry’s shoulders relaxed. Regina had that tone, the one where he knew she was telling the truth. He started to feel better already. Bouncing back with the speed only a child could manage.

“But I thought-”

“I talked to Emma after I found her. She was…upset,” she said, choosing her words carefully, “but she wasn’t going to leave. I really do promise that Snow.” Regina hoped it wouldn’t lead into another heart to heart where she spilled far too much information. Telling her about the kiss was one thing, but everything Emma had revealed. No, she wouldn’t do that.

Snow nodded, “okay, but that doesn’t really explain-”

“I know. But can you trust me on this?” She held Snow’s gaze until the other woman nodded and sat back on the couch.

“Ma wasn’t going to leave?” he asked, eyes shining and Regina wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in cotton wool and protect him for all eternity. Instead she simply smiled and nodded.

“She wasn’t going to leave,” she repeated, “but could we talk about this later, Henry? I need some time to talk to your grandmother without little ears hiding around the corner.” He chuckled and for a moment, everything was like it had once been. When it had been the two of them. When Henry had adored her and she him. “You can play video games,” she said on a smirk.

“Okayloveyoubyegramps,” he shot up and was out of the room, knocking over the mug on his way out. Regina rolled her eyes and reached for it, placing it on the table. He was lucky it hadn’t broken.

“Henry’s going to be just fine-” Snow pushed on her palms until she was sat more comfortably, “and what is it you would like to talk about?”

“You need to tell Emma the truth. I mean it, Snow, she needs to hear it from you and David, before everything ends up even messier than it already is.” Regina wasn’t sure if that was possible. With the way things were going, however, she knew it certainly could head that way.

“Are you going to admit to Emma about your feelings?” Snow asked, raising an eyebrow at her former step mother. “You forget, Regina-” she chuckled slightly, “I’ve seen you in love before.”

“At least I know where Emma gets her idiot genes from. And here I almost thought she had gotten them from her father.” In love? She sighed, because she really did…care for Emma. The kiss had felt good. More than good and perhaps a string of butterflies hit her stomach every time it would pop into her mind.

“What’s stopping you?” Snow asked, tipping her head and looking genuinely curious. They’d had their differences in the past. Being hunted went way beyond that, but somehow, they had gotten to this place where care existed between them. Between all of them. They were family.

Regina crossed one leg over the other, shuffled in place and stared intently to the side. A lip found its way between her teeth. She felt the words bubble up in the back of her throat. With glistening eyes and a constricting heart, she looked back to the woman she had tormented for years. “You’re well aware of my past, Snow. You know more than anyone that Emma deserves someone better than me.”

“I am. You think I was thrilled when I first realised there was something more going on between the two of you? Not that either of you would admit it. You’re both as hard as rock when it comes to being stubborn-” chuckling, Snow made eye contact with Regina and smiled softly, “but I’ve seen how much you’ve fought for this and now I realise, maybe everything wasn’t picture perfect for you like I had imagined being a child. And I didn’t come to that realisation on my own,” she said, getting lost in her own memories, “I once said something, I forget what it was now, but I’d never forget the look in Emma’s eyes and the way she defended you. It helped me to understand how much she’s been through.”

“That’s my-”

“I’m not finished.” Snow widened her eyes at Regina, until she was certain she would remain silent. “I’ve seen how much you’ve done for each other. I’ve seen how you look at her, Regina,” she said so softly, Regina wasn’t sure if she had heard her right, “and Emma-” she sighed, “she looks at you like she’s found home.”

Regina was staring at her, mouth hanging open. She had no words. There was still something blocking her, because no matter what thought told her to run to Emma, only to kiss her until neither of them could breathe, something else would always come out stronger.

“Whatever it is that’s preventing you from opening up to her, I really think you need to work it out. By staying away, you’re only hurting her more.” Snow let the statement linger, hoping she could at least talk some sense into Regina.

Her eyes stung and all Regina could seem to do, was sit there and nod. What else was there to say? She desperately wished she could fight the demons of her past and be the person Emma needed. The only problem was, she didn’t know how.

She chuckled slightly as a single tear ran down her cheek, “only you could get me to cry,” she said, wiping it away quickly, “and I’ll go back to Gold,” she added, nodding to herself in confirmation. It was that they were supposed to be discussing anyway. “I’ll stall as much as I can.” It was the one thing she could do. If it got her one step closer to Emma. She’d do it.

***

“Getting her heart, is…proving difficult.” Regina paced around the cabin. Her own heart beating erratically. Three pairs of eyes were on her and there was a time she could’ve out smarted them all. Throw emotions into the mix, _weaknesses,_ then it became exceedingly clear Regina had lost her touch.

“Pff, you’re useless. How hard can it be?” Cruella saunter towards her. Eyes dazed and unfocused, with an unlit cigarette rolling between her fingers. “If you won’t, I’ll be happy to do it.”

Regina chuckled, eyes swimming in mirth. “You couldn’t take out her heart even if you wanted to.” The knowledge made her smirk. No matter her hesitancy, knowing Cruella was out of the loop gave her a sense of power she had been denied for so long.

“And why would that be, dearie?” The use of the endearment had her seething. With gritted teeth, she turned to face him, lifted a pointed finger and opened her mouth, only to catch the sight of Maleficent smirking from where she was sat in the corner. Her fist clenched and fell to her side.

“She doesn’t possess magic. I thought that would be obvious.” The chuckle from the corner had that fist clench tighter. She had decided to try and stall as best as possible, but gaining the knowledge she had from Emma and she sheer fact she was being used to do something neither of them were capable of, would not go down well if they were to find out. “And besides, I’m not going to let my son witness me taking a heart. I only have contact with Miss Swan when it is about my son.”

Regina cringed, but evoked her queen like demeanour instantaneously.

“I have seen you at your worst, my dear.” Mal stood and crossed the room, stopping only inches from Regina. “And I have seen you in your youth.” Their eyes met and a spark flew between them. Regina breathed heavily as memories tried to assault her mind. They had once been…something, but Regina had changed and the woman in front of her was not the same woman she had known so intimately.

“Is there a point to this, dear?” Maleficent’s smirk only grew wider. Regina took a step backwards, growing tired of all of games. Finding out Gold’s endgame wasn’t what she had come for. He wasn’t going to give that up easily. A bit of intel on the other hand, that could be useful. “I am waiting.” Regina tapped a few fingers against her upper thigh and tipped her head at Mal.

“If you had a goal, you could achieve it. You are not dumb, Regina-”

“I beg to differ,” said Cruella, slowly making her way to them, “if she thinks those heroes will ever accept her for who she truly is, then let her fool herself into believing it to be true. I know who I am and you were once an Evil Queen. Now, your more pathetic than any of them could ever be.”

“That’s enough.” Mal waved a hand and sent Cruella flying into the cabin door. Huffing, she dragged herself into a seated position, brushing of her pants before pushing herself off the floor. Her face ranged. Gold raised a palm and she paused mid-air.

“Why don’t you go take that cigarette elsewhere.” Gold waved his palm. A cloud of smoke surrounded Cruella and in an instant, she was gone. “Though she’s not wrong,” he said, turning his attention on Regina, “that may have been an unexpected turn of events-” he eyed Maleficent, then looked back to Regina, “but they will never accept you. The threats still remain, but perhaps in this case, a little dose of reality might do you good.”

_‘I know who you are, Regina.’_

Regina’s eyes swam with darkness. Loneliness. The feelings that she was unworthy. Letting them fester, she fed on them. A smirk cocked her lip. Something curdled inside. Those times she longed to have the saviour’s heart in her palm. To feel it wither beneath her fingers.

_‘I know who you are, Regina.”_

She replayed the sentence on a loop. The longer she listened, the more she remembered the tremor in Emma’s voice. It became meaningless. Nothing more than a sea of lies. Emma couldn’t know her, not after she took her son and left her with nothing. She had never mattered.

_‘I know who you are, Regina.”_

The butterflies dulled. She growled. Maleficent smirked and the darkness in gold reared to life. It had been such a long time since she had indulged within her darkest impulses, it was intoxicating. The need to cause damage flamed inside.

“Let’s make a deal.” She chuckled and turned to Gold, knowing he couldn’t resist. Straightening her back, she placed a hand on one hip, the other floating around in the air lazily. “I will get you that good for nothing’s heart-” her lip snarled as those early memories reared to life. They washed through her as if a catalyst to a darkness she had tampered down for years.

One little crack and she had burst the damn.

“I’m listening.” Gold shared a look with Maleficent. Regina looked between them with a raised brow. They weren’t about to be getting away with sharing secrets from her any longer.

“You collected an object. One in which Maleficent asked about on my last visit here. Show me this object and you will have your heart.” The darkness whispered in her ear. Demanding she ask for more. For her to reach out a hand and squeeze until someone chocked. Too bad that annoying puppy trainer wasn’t around for her to mess with.

“How about I tell you a bit about its purpose. You return with the heart. And I will show you.” He made some gesture towards the back of the cabin. Regina let her eyes darken whilst she let a devilish smile pass across her lips. With a tip of her head, eyes gazing up to meet him, she was every bit the Evil Queen.

“Deal.”

She purred low in her throat. Gold gave a chuckle reminiscent of Rumpelstiltskin. Maleficent’s face had paled. One quick glance had Regina focus solely on Gold and the information which began to flow freely.


	10. Chapter 10

A faint crackle was the first thing Emma noticed as she made her way into the woods. Nothing was burning as far as she could see, but the scent assaulted her nose nonetheless. Ducking under branches and stepping over tree trunks, Emma found herself going deeper and deeper into the woods trying to find the source of the disruption.

A bright light irrupted in the distance, prompting Emma to pick up her speed and find the intrusion. “Hello,” she called, frowning when another light appeared, “hey,” she bellowed this time, “who’s there? Feet crunching on twigs, she pushed through the trees. A purple sparkle flew into the air. Emma threw her hand over her head and crouched, eyes directed at the sky, completely missing Regina stood facing her with a hand on her hip.

“Enjoying yourself, Miss Swan?” Regina raised an eyebrow. Emma shot up, cheeks brightening and faced the woman. The avoiding had been going as well as could be expected and the last thing Emma wanted, was to be in a secluded area with the woman where her mind could potentially shut down all over again.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she said, taking a few steps to the side with a swagger in her hips until she was stood in an opening, “what are you doing in the middle of the woods?”

A fire crackled in the middle of the open space. Emma tipped her head at it then slowly lifted her gaze back to Regina. Her eyes were unfocused and each hand twitched by her sides. “I could ask _you_ that question, as well dear.” Palm opening, she threw a fireball at the stacked up branches before the fire had a chance to die out.

“We got a call at the station about a disruption. They noted sparks coming from the forest. I’d figured it would be magic related, so I came to check it out.” The leaves crunched beneath her feet as she checked out the area, the burnt patched on the floor rather apparent. “Regina?”

Regina sighed. Turned. Then flew a spark of magic between the trees, towards the sky. The leaves were seared, whilst dozens floated to the ground. Before they had a chance to reach it, however, Regina pushed her palm outwards, a wave of purple magic hitting them, incinerating the leaves into ash. Emma stood with her hands flailing by her sides, mouth hanging open, unable to form one coherent thought.

“Are you still here? I’m in the middle of something. And if you don’t leave soon, that something might turn into you.” Emma had not heard that right. Her brain short circuited. Oh, the magic. She shook her head to clear away any thought of sprawling around on the ground with a very gorgeous mayor beneath her.

“What are…Regina…I…what the hell are you doing?” Coming out of her revere, she stumbled forwards.

Regina huffed and spun quickly. Darkened eyes glared at Emma. Leaves rustled as Regina came closer. Emma took a step backwards, stomach knotting at that twisted smile. Her palms shot up. Regina wouldn’t hurt her, but something was obviously wrong.

“Regina,” she whispered, straightening up and planting her feet firmly, “whatever’s going on here, you can tell me.” Only a mocking laugh followed the statement. Emma stared at her in bewilderment.

“Nothing’s going on here. I’m not hurting anyone, am I? Unless you don’t leave and I direct some of this at you.” Brown eyes blew wide open. Her lip snarled. It reminded Emma of the fights they used to have. It was both nerve wracking and exciting. One of her fist clenched. Whatever was going on at Regina, she didn’t deserve to be on the end of it.

“Don’t direct this onto me. I don’t know what you’re doing, but it’s not my fault you’re out in the middle of the woods burning trees.” As if Regina had forgotten all about it, she shifted so she could throw yet another fireball at the blazing fire. It wasn’t out of control, but being as close to the other trees as it was, did have Emma stiffen and automatically reach for her belt.

“You point a gun at me and it’ll be the last thing you do, Miss Swan.” Regina turned her back on her. Emma’s head swam. The use of the name was bugging her, but not as much as the threats. Her superpower wasn’t pinging. She let her hand slide from her belt and took a few paces closer to Regina.

“Look, I’m sorry, it was a reaction. I see something I don’t like, I reach for my gun. But I wouldn’t…not at you.” Swallowing, Emma reached a hand out to place it on Regina’s shoulder, only for her to twist and slap it away.

“Just leave me be, Miss Swan. You’ve checked out the disruption. Now you can go.” Regina took a step closer to challenge her. Emma squinted her eyes and shook her head. She squared right up to her, finger tips buzzing with magic. She wouldn’t use it, but knowing she could, well, that changed the game entirely.

“Tell me what you’re doing. I want to help. I’m your friend.” Emma’s voice faded on the last syllable and her eyes drifted briefly.

“If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be out here.” Regina glanced at the fire, the sky then back to Emma. She took a step backwards, smirking, before opening both palms, fingers curling inwards. Silver sparks passed between them. Each finger jolted straight and the momentum had those sparks shooting into the air, spreading and expanding the higher they got until they burst into the air, fading away shortly after.

Emma stared at the sky. What in the world was she doing? Her own fingers continued to tingle and an idea formed. It sounded like the worst idea she had had in a while, but there was a lot festering inside and Emma needed some release. Tipping her head back down she met Regina’s gaze. She smirked and narrowed her eyes, lifting an arm as if to indicate for Emma to do the same.

“I don’t know what I have to do with any of this,” she said, opening her palms and focusing intently on the magic she could feel bubbling up, “but I could really use an outlet.” Emma wished she could smile cockily at Regina like she had done moment before, but without the years of magic practice, Emma had to keep her eyes trained on her hands. It took a bit of time, but then Emma closed her eyes and brought forwards the emotions she’d been burying.

A rainbow bursts free from her finger tips and as it erupted into the air, she breathed onto it. Smooth white magic hit the sparks, causing them to float like snowflakes all around them. Emma looked on in awe, unaware she even had the ability to manage such a feat, whilst Regina stood with one hand on her hip, smiling and shaking her head at the spectacle.

“Show off,” she said, eyes dancing around the multicoloured snowflakes. Regina closed her eyes, opened one palm, bringing in to her mouth where she blew gently onto the flame. The fire joined the magic in the air, creating a glow around the surrounding area.

“Wow.” Emma’s eyes went wide. Each snowflake remained around them as if they had been trapped in a snow globe which had just been tipped and then the glow illuminated their surroundings. It was beautiful and couldn’t help but spin on the spot, taking the sight in. “I didn’t even know this was possible.”

When she had finished her rotation, she looked back at Regina. Her eyes were no longer filled to the brim with blackness, but took on a gleam. They smiled brightly at each other and Emma couldn’t help but feel her heart soar.

“Anything is possible with magic and you have a gift. I had no idea you even knew how to do that.” After one last look, Regina raised her palm and swiped it across the air until the scene around them faded. Although disappointing, it couldn’t stay that way indefinitely.

“Neither did I.” Emma shuffled her feet against the leaves and buried her hands back into her pockets. “That was amazing though. I went off instinct and it just like, wow.” Emma had no clue where the idea of blowing on the magic had even come from, but once she had stopped thinking and let the emotions take over, it had felt like the right thing to do.

Regina chuckled. “Wow, indeed. Imagine if you’d listened to me when I was trying to teach you magic. Imagine what you could do.” She walked over to a rather large fallen tree trunk, sat down softly and reached out her palms to warm them over the fire. After a moment where Emma simply stood and watched, did Regina cock her eyebrow and tip her head to the empty place.

“So,” said Emma as she slowly made her way to Regina, “what was all that about? It seemed like you were about to bite my head off only a few minutes ago.” Sitting down slowly, Emma made sure she left enough distance between them so there was no chance of them accidently brushing together. It still stung, no matter what twist she put on it.

“It’s a way for me to have some sort of release.” She sighed and twisted her head to look directly at Emma, who swallowed at the eye contact but held it anyway. “How do you feel? After letting some of that magic out.”

“I actually felt pretty damn good.” If only it had lasted. For those few moments it had felt as if everything had stopped. All the thoughts, the worries, the doubts which wouldn’t give her a break for even a second, had stopped. It had been quiet in her mind. Her entire body had relaxed. It only began to fade after Emma had remembered where she was and who she was with.

Regina let the statement linger, “felt,” she said, turning away from Emma and lifting her palms over the fire once more. It wasn’t very cold out, but the heat searing up was nice, either way.

“Yeah.” Emma rubbed the back of her neck and shuffled before reaching out and doing the same with her palms. She hummed and closed her eyes as the heat saw to it, her shoulders relaxed and the tension began to flow out it ripples. “I haven’t seen you since-”

“The night on the porch,” Regina finished, already knowing where it was heading. She had wanted to talk to Emma about it, but couldn’t find the right words. She didn’t know how she felt, she didn’t know what she wanted to do. All she knew was there was an intense fear inside; if she let herself get too close to Emma, one or both of them would get hurt.

“Yeah,” Emma repeated, keeping her eyes closed, “I didn’t know what to say to you, but I guess, I’m sorry, you know? If I was out of line. You’ve already made your feelings clear and-”

“Have I?” Regina frowned and turned to face Emma. If anything, her own feelings were more muddled than ever.

Emma pulled her hands away to rest them on her thighs and turned to face Regina on a deep breath. It was painful enough keeping all of this buried, saying it out loud wasn’t something she had ever wanted to do. If anything, she was quite happy putting it all behind them so she didn’t have to think about it ever again.

“You left me, after we, erm, kissed. Then, I tried to do that again and you pulled away. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.” Emma felt her eyes well, but blinked a few times before she would let any more tears push out. Taking a few deep breaths, she swallowed and tried to tell herself it didn’t matter. They were friends and that was enough.

“Emma, that’s not what-” she shook her head, confused. They’d talked about the first kiss and Regina had thought Emma had understood. Perhaps not. “I told you it wasn’t you. You weren’t why I left. Do you really think I’d go undercover to try and protect you, if I didn’t care about you?” Emma had a stubborn streak, but her blindness alluded Regina.

Emma shrugged and bit her lip. “We talked at the town line and you…held me-” her eyes diverted downwards, “then you held my hand and I tried to tell you that whatever you thought about not deserving me, because of some guilt over the curse or whatever, was total crap, but then when I tried to kiss you again.” Emma met her eyes. “You pulled away. What am I supposed to think, Regina? No one ever wants me. Why would you be any different?”

“I don’t know how I feel Emma,” she said, voice trembling. She bowed her head and scrunched up her fists. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. We need to figure out how to stop Gold, then we can work this out, but right now, everything’s a mess and-” she looked back up to meet Emma’s expression, “can we just take this slow? I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispered, eyes squinting the longer she looked at the hurt dancing across green orbs.

“If that’s what you want,” she said stiffly, “you never did tell me why you were out here.” It would be easier to talk about something other than her shattering heart. It wasn’t like she wasn’t curious about what Regina had been doing either.

“I had to tap into some dark thoughts for Gold to trust me. After I left the cabin, I poofed straight here and worked through those thoughts by blasting my magic everywhere. It was helping, but I didn’t calm until we made magic together.”

“Regina! I thought…you went back to Gold?” Emma stood and began to pace. It was a lot easier to be mad and move than to be sitting there unable to deal with the bucket load of emotions. “Actually,” she said, facing Regina and crossed her arms, “I spoke to David and you blatantly missed out a rather important piece of information regarding my heart.”

Regina’s mouth fell open. She scrambled for words, but came up empty. She stood, “Emma-” and reached out an arm, but she stepped back before Regina could reach her.

“He thinks we share true love, doesn’t he?” Emma willed herself to keep it together and not end up in a heap like the leaves on the ground. Anger was so much simpler. She wondered why she hadn’t gone down this path sooner.

“I don’t know, Emma. It’s not something someone else can know, it…we kissed and, well, nothing happened, there’s probably another explanation…”

“Am I that undesirable to you, that even the thought of us being true love isn’t enough for you to want me? Gods, am I that terrible?” _Undesirable…_ she should add that to her list.

Regina wore the heartache over her features. Eyes stared Emma down as they glistened and she swallowed, wiping both palms down each thigh. Emma stood rooted, arms crossed tightly around her chest, feet apart and body tense. Regina came closer, the heat from her body adding to the fire and gripped her shoulders.

“I’m not good for you, Emma,” she said, holding her gaze despite wanting nothing more than to look away, “you feel these awful things about yourself because of-”

“The foster parents who treated me like crap,” she bit out, a distinction from the bristling leaves and crackling fire.

Regina shook her head, fingers gripping into the leather. “And you ended up there because of-”

“My parents who shoved me into a tree.”

Hands slowly made their way down Emma’s arms, until Regina reluctantly broke the contact and took a step backwards. “I still hurt you, Emma. I might do it again.” It had been circling around her mind recently. Since her conversation with Emma in the bug. For a blissful moment, as their fingers had intertwined, she’d thought there was a way for them to find a way to each other. Until Emma had made a move. The doubts rushed back. She had pulled away. Every inch of her had craved the feel of Emma, touching her, kissing her. It wasn’t enough to push down on demons. “I’m scared,” she said, staring intently at a burnt patch on the ground.

“Scared?” Emma tipped her head, body flinching as if she had been jolted in place. The instinct to move closer to Regina had always been there, but only recently had she been able to act on it.

Arms snaked around Regina’s middle intrinsically and she took a few steps closer to the fire, as if the warmth could invade the cold chill which was settling in her bones. Emma’s own heart pounded, as her mind raced over every possible outcome. Regina cared for her, she couldn’t deny it, not with the way she looked to her like it caused her pain. As if she could reach out and soothe Emma’s wounds.

Regina nodded, gaze fixating on the blazing fire. It had yet to die down and Regina gave a brief thought to how reckless she had been. For Emma to reach towards her belt. A shiver ran through her body. A quick glance to Emma and Regina took a deep breath, trying to form words she didn’t know how to say.

“You say you love me,” she began, aware of the waiver in her voice at the use of the four letter word, “but anyone who has ever claimed as much as either hurt me or ended up dead. Or, I…” she let her thoughts trail to Maleficent, the way she had retreated the more the darkness had grown, “I pushed them away. Even Henry left me.”

Emma moved a pace forwards, one arm out right as if approaching someone in need of rescue. It was fitting. Emma may be the one going through an emotional turmoil, but Regina’s own head was a mess. “You’re scared I’m going to hurt you?”

Regina shook her head, lips pressed tightly. “I’m scared that I’ll hurt you. I don’t have a very good track record. I don’t know how to love, how to be a part of a family or in a relationship. I can’t do any of those things and I know that’s what you want, but I have no way of giving them to you. You deserve to have them, Emma, all of it, but you’re not going to get it from me.”

“So this has nothing to do with the curse?” she asked, frowning. She had thought she had unlocked the key to the mystery, but perhaps there was more to it. “You’re worried about how to have a relationship.” Emma understood self-doubt, uncertainty, heck she was hardly what one would call a role model for relationships. Not with a string of one night stands as long as her arm.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. Not when I’m reminded of how much you went through before you arrived here.” Was she really that selfish? Shaking her head on a sigh she looked back to Emma. “If it’s constantly hanging over me, then how am I supposed to expect it won’t ruin this in the long run? If I can’t forgive myself, then I know I’ll end up pushing you away or hurting you and in the end we’ll lose everything, Emma. The friendship we have, the family. I’ll lose you.”

_I’ll lose you._

Each syllable hit a part of Emma she hadn’t known to exist. Her fists clenched and unclenched by her sides. She knew Regina had ghosts tapping her on the shoulder everywhere she went. Without giving it too much thought, however, she had never realised how literal it was. Regina would look to her with so much depth in her eyes, almost as if Emma could see into her soul. She had never considered there were parts blocked from her view.

How had she not known?

Losing Regina because of her feelings had eaten away at her for some time. But that moment in the library, when Regina was so adamant about going undercover. Allowing potential risk to fall to herself, but not budging even an inch after Emma had offered to help. It had quietened the doubts and the ability to keep her love hidden had floated right out of her.

“Regina.” Emma moved so she could wrap her fingers around Regina’s palms, “no matter what, we’re family. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” With a clenching of her stomach she once again leaned closer, though this time she brushed a chaste kiss to Regina’s forehead. She pulled away and met her gaze. “Please stop blaming yourself for my childhood. The part you played, I forgive you for it. We have Henry, Regina and I’d do it all again if it got me him-” her chest expanded on a deep breath and she pushed it out quickly, “and I’d live that life again, if it got me here, with you.”

Regina’s eyes widened and she bit her lip to stop it from trembling. The fingers holding onto Emma’s tightened and she didn’t drop he gaze for a second. “You can’t mean that, Emma.” The way those eyes were looking at her, the thumbs which were brushing against her palms, however, were enough for Regina to know it was true.

“I do,” she said with one of her sheepish smiles which always made Regina’s heart miss a beat. “But-” she began to retreat, fingers sliding down Regina’s hand until the contact was broken. Emma took slow steps backwards, toes crunching on leaves before her heel planted to the ground, “I can’t keep doing this back and forth with you. I thought it would be easier after I said it out loud. That way I would know if you wanted me or not. But it keeps getting harder and I don’t know what you want.”

Her breath shook as she took a few more paces backwards. Everything seemed in uproar and Emma’s head had been a whirlwind since the library, the lies, Gold, Henry; it was snowballing and if Emma didn’t distance herself from it, it was going to crush her beneath it all.

“I’m sorry,” she said, upon glancing at the utter look of devastation on Regina’s face. This wasn’t revenge. Regina had left her and she wasn’t going to do the same on purpose, but if she was the only one to do the chasing, with no goal in sight, then when would it end? “But you have to choose, Regina.”

She turned and slowly took steps away from the area as if any moment Regina would call to stop her from walking away. Nothing came, so she continued to walk away, feeling a thousand blows to her stomach, but at least some of the weight had been shifted. There was too much poison running rampant between the people she loved and right now, she had to find a way to seep it out, no matter how painful the process would be.


	11. Chapter 11

Emma had never understood the meaning of this statement until now; once you knew something, you couldn’t un-know it. All she felt was betrayal. And like an idiot. The biggest idiot who had believed her parents could ever want _her._ With her faults and quirks and darkness. Turned out, she hadn’t been enough before she was even born.

“We did what we thought was best for you,” Snow pleaded, glancing between her husband and where Emma sat on the couch. Knees bent up, elbows resting on them as the balls of her feet bounced on the ground. She hadn’t looked to them in over ten minutes.

Instead she stared at a spot on the ground or rather, through the ground. Green eyes had hollowed out as much as her insides. She stared into nothing. There was a deep sigh and it would be so easy to feel anger, to yell at her parents and scream about the injustice of the world. All she wanted to do, however, was curl into a ball and fade into nothing.

Her parents didn’t want her. Henry didn’t want her. Regina didn’t want her.

The list was endless if she thought back to each foster family, each foster home, the parents who had given her back. At the young age of three she had learned this lesson, yet she’d clung onto a belief that one day…she wouldn’t be alone. Then Storybrooke had happened and as much as it had terrified her, she had been wanted.

It had been a cruel joke.

Slowly, she rose from the chair. Each eye was red rimmed even if she hadn’t shed a tear. It hurt. More than she would ever want to admit. With rigid movements, she looked to her mother, face devoid of emotion, “you did it for you,” she said simply, ignored her father completely then dragged her heavy limbs to the stairs, “don’t follow me. I don’t want to see either of you.”

The blank tone had David and Snow look to each and nod in agreement. They would give Emma some time, certain she would come around to their way of thinking. Why they couldn’t come around and see it from their daughter’s point of view was yet to be seen. It wasn’t something they had done before and Emma doubted they would start now.

Boots stomped on the stairs, fingers gripped onto the material she’d treasured her entire life. Lying on the bed, she pulled the baby blanket to her nose, curled in a ball and hoped it would muffle the sounds of her sobs. It might have been a secret she had wanted to have known, but in that moment, Emma would’ve done anything to turn back the clock and live in a delusional world where for once, someone would love her and want her and she would be enough.

***

“Hey.” Regina took a few more paces into Emma’s bedroom, eyes softening instantly. Emma sat perched on the edge of the bed, one leg dangling over the side and the other bent up so her foot rested beside her knee. A blanket lay in the triangle her legs created, where her fingers continued to fiddle with it.

Emma sighed deeply, not attempting to look up or acknowledge Regina. Not that any of this was her fault. Regina knew what it felt like to be told she wasn’t good enough. The last thing she wanted was for Emma to feel that pain, too.

“How are you?” she asked, placing herself down on the bed and faced Emma. A one shoulder shrug was her only response. “Your mother called.”

Emma lifted the blanket to her face, the soft material rubbing against the curve of her nose. She inhaled deeply with closed eyes, before exhaling slowly. Each fist was clenched tightly around the material. Her body began to sway back and forth. Regina simply watched her for a few minutes, the courage to pull Emma into her arms building steadily only for it to slip away.

“Hey,” she said again, softly. A pair of wide green eyes greeted her and it took everything within Regina not to melt on the spot. A hand reached out to lightly trace the embroidery on the blanket. A small smile creeped up, despite herself. “Is this your baby blanket?”

“Yeah-” she nodded, the sound muffled. Pulling it away from her face, she opened it out in front of them and used a single finger to trace her name. “I used to make up stories about them. Funny thing is, I imagined them to be a prince and princess and they had no other choice but to send me away for my own protection. I’m such an idiot.”

“It’s normal, Emma. To wish for things better than what you had.” Regina tucked a piece of hair behind Emma’s ear and smiled once their eyes met. “Although I must agree on you being a complete idiot, but for this-” she shook her head, “with this, you have every right to be angry.” Regina had been angry for her. It didn’t take away from the fact that she’d owed them. After the countless years she had spent hunting them, the least she could do was keep a secret.

Emma hummed with a smirk. One which faded instantly. “I’m an idiot,” she whispered, keeping her tone hushed, “because I let myself believe for a second they wanted me.” The blanket was up to her face again and her eyes were closed. Regina’s heart constricted. How many times had Emma turned to a blanket for comfort, when there was no one else around to offer it?

“Emma-” brushing a hand up and down Emma’s arm, she took a single step closer to having the woman back in her arms. Everything had gotten so tangled, but for once, Regina believed if she fought enough, then maybe all the knots could loosen and everything else would fall into place. “I can’t imagine the hurt you’re feeling and I know you well enough to know you’ll try and brush it off or push it down. I’m not going to defend your parents either. What they did, I…honestly don’t have words for it. But I do understand them.”

“Don’t defend them.” The blanket crushed to her chest as the rocking commenced. Both arms turned to cement when Regina tried to lift them.

“If anyone’s to blame it’s me.” Emma’s eyes shot open. “Just listen,” she said and Emma nodded, closing her eyes once more. “I chased after them for years. Your mother saw me change from the person I used to be, the teenager who rescued her from a horse, to a monster hell bent on her destruction. Again, I’m not excusing what they did to you, but you and I both know that life isn’t black and white. We live in the grey. Your parents, they live in extremes. What they did to you is inexcusable, but if you can understand how much they fear darkness, then you can understand why they wanted to take any potential darkness away from their daughter.”

“To give me my best chance.” Emma sniffed, looking directly at her with eyes so terrified Regina didn’t know how exactly to respond to that. It wasn’t what she had meant, so she paused and decided honesty was the best way to go forwards with Emma.

“I’m not buying that excuse.” She thought it was pathetic, if she were being honest. Somehow the heroes could get away with doing almost anything if the right flowery justification came attached to it. “You and I both know that’s complete crap.”

“Then why did you just try and defend them? They stole Maleficent’s child. They took my darkness and put it into another baby. They didn’t want me.” Her fists clenched so hard nails dug into her palms. Regina reached out, lightly resting her hands on top of Emma’s to uncurl her fingers. The light touch sent a shiver through her body. She directed those hands down to the bed, laying them on top of where the blanket had fallen. With Emma’s palms facing upwards, Regina began to trail patterns over the skin.

“I’ve had some time to mull this over,” she said, gaze steady on Emma’s palms, “and I was angry. I still am, but I’ve thought about what they did. How I could’ve played a massive part in getting them to that place. I can understand why you’re hurting, believe me-” tipping her head upwards, she caught Emma’s eyes, “I wanted to throw fireballs at your mother after she had told me.” There were many reasons she felt this way. The hypocrisy being one. It had reminded her of the rage she had once felt towards the girl who had gotten everything for simply existing. Who had spilt a secret with good intentions, only for Regina to end up suffering for years in the role of a wife.

It was still Emma whom she ached for the most. She’d witness how those large eyes would stare at her parents as they played happy families with their son whilst their daughter was out in the cold. The times she would pull away from affection because she was so used to existing without it. As much as they didn’t get along in their early days, Regina had seen for years how distant Emma could be. She ran. Before the rejection would hit. And Regina couldn’t even begin to imagine what type of blow this must feel like. After Emma had finally accepted them as her parents. They’d never wanted that version of Emma.

They didn’t want _her._

Period.

“I don’t know how to feel,” Emma admitted quietly, “I keep trying to tell myself they did it for me. They put me in that wardrobe, for me. They took out my darkness, for me. But, I don’t…it doesn’t feel that way and she doesn’t get it.” She looked up to catch Regina’s eye. “She’s supposed to be my mom, but she doesn’t understand when I tell her what she does hurts me.”

“She doesn’t understand a lot of things, Emma.” Twisting Emma’s hands around, she intertwined their fingers and squeezed. Their eyes met and she simply stared to take in the moment. She wanted to kiss her. She wouldn’t. But all she could think about was leaning forwards and capturing Emma’s lips. “Are you angry at me?”

Their hands lowered to rest lazily on the bed, the soft material of the blanket beneath them. Emma shook her head then looked back down at their conjoined hands. Neither of them could’ve imagined it would feel so good.

“You were doing what you thought was best. I know you didn’t intend to hurt me. This is between me and them.” She glanced back up and Regina felt a stab to her stomach.

“I hurt you?” Swallowing, she followed Emma’s eyes so she wouldn’t lose the contact. If she had hurt Emma, then she would do anything to make it right.

She shook her head, lips pressed together, before forcing out a, “no,” which didn’t sound the least bit convincing.

“Emma-”

“Not over this. They said you wanted them to tell me sooner. None of this is on you. I promise.” Tentatively, she looked back up to meet Regina’s scowl.

“Okay-” Regina nodded, “but would you like to try? Tell me how you feel, maybe we can get some of it out.” She paused, waiting for a reply which didn’t come. “I’ve been thinking, anyway,” she began again, “you seem…a little lost right now. Which is understandable given everything, but how about we find some of you again?”

“I’m fine, Regina. Everything’s messy right now, but I’m fine.” Emma’s head twisted to the side and Regina shook her head on a sigh. She would find a way to get through to Emma one way or the other.

“We never did go to Granny’s. I know it’s not much, but we could take Henry after school. You could get a hot chocolate, a bear claw. Something simple.” And perhaps a way for them to get Emma back. Her spirits were down, it was clear for anyone to see. Regina knew there was fight left inside her and she wasn’t about to give up so easily.

“There’s one slight problem. Henry won’t talk to me, he thinks I would’ve left him. I’m doing to him what they did to me,” she said, eyes scrunching and fingers tightening around Regina’s.

“That’s not true and you know it. Henry will come around. I promise you, Emma. It won’t be like this forever.” If Henry had found a way to forgive everything Regina had done, then she was certain Henry would forgive Emma soon enough. “He misses you. He keeps talking about beating you on some game or another or asking if we can start having family dinners. Then he remembers he should be mad and well, he’s almost a teenager. We’re going to have teenage hormones to deal with very soon. This ice shoulder is just the start, Miss Swan.”

“Family dinners?” Emma’s voice was a slight higher pitch than usual. Regina could hardly blame Emma from focusing on that point.

“Yes, the three of us. Henry and I briefly talked about it not too long ago, but then I went undercover and I guess we simply forgot about it. We thought it would be nice, to have a family dinner once a week. You could come over to the mansion or we could all go out.” The thought had Regina smiling and Emma’s stomach flip. She bit her lip to stop from smiling, but the pink tint to her cheeks didn’t go unnoticed.

“I’d like that,” she whispered, “I’d really like that.” Her eyes brightened and Regina was relieved she had thought to mention it. Emma wasn’t the only one who liked the idea. Getting to spend an evening with both her son and Emma sounded perfect, no matter if it was a simple dinner or not.

“Then we’ll start with Granny’s. Henry will come around. It might give us all a chance to talk. He won’t much listen to me on the subject, but with both of us, it might speed the process up a little bit.”

“Granny’s.” Emma nodded in confirmation. She missed Henry and needed to find a way to gain his trust back. Perhaps this would be the opening she needed.

Emma curled her fingers upwards, so they ran across Regina’s palms then grazed them back down. Each time she did this a fresh wave of butterflies hit Regina’s stomach. If she wasn’t clear about the feelings she’d been harbouring for Emma, then they were starting to become apparent.

“That feels good,” she whispered, meeting Emma’s gaze and smiled. It felt more than good. For the first time in a long time, it felt _right_ , “I…I want you, Emma. I still don’t believe I’ll ever deserve you. But I want you.”

The way Emma smiled tampered down on the fears for the moment. It took seconds until their lips met in the middle. They shared a soft kiss. Emma smiled and chuckled against her lips. As far as Regina was concerned, it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever experienced.

“You really mean that?” Emma pulled away and the doubt crossed her eyes.

“Yes, Emma. I’m…sorry I couldn’t admit it sooner, but I really want you.”

The dullness to Emma’s eyes lifted, “I want to kiss you again.”

Regina chuckled, leant forwards and met Emma in the middle where their lips mushed together. It was as if they had been parched and the only way to quench their thirst was to kiss until they didn’t have need for a single drop of water. How Emma came to lay on top of Regina with hand one splayed across her stomach she didn’t know, but they kissed until Emma’s cheeks dampened and salt lingered around their lips. They kissed until those tears dried and Emma didn’t feel quite so alone anymore. They kissed until they had gotten lost in each other and never again needed to be found.


	12. Chapter 12

The idea had been great. The reality, not so much. Henry wouldn’t make eye contact. They’d been seated at Granny’s for nearly thirty minutes and her son was yet to look her way. Regina reached underneath the table and squeezed just above Emma’s knee. She was crushed. After the time she had spent with Regina, Emma had felt better and had let herself be excited for their first family meal.

“Henry,” Regina prompted, “you can’t ignore your mother for the rest of your life.” He shrugged and took a long slurp of his milkshake. Regina ran fingers through her hair, daring a quick glance in Emma’s direction, giving her an apologetic smile.

“Tell me what I can do to make it better. Kid, I promise I wasn’t about to leave you. With everything, I was upset and needed some air. But I promise you, Henry, you were the one thing that kept me here.”

“You don’t care about what I want.” They both looked to each other, a little shocked at the outburst, but nodded at each other in silent agreement. It was time to push.

“Why would you say that? Me and your mom do everything for you.” Her tone was a little harsh, but perhaps harsh could get down to the root of the issue. If Henry was anything like his parents, then he would have inherited the streak they both possessed for keeping their feelings buried. Yet, even anger had a way of pushing their deepest insecurities out.

“You were going to take me back to New York not long ago. My mom was here, but you didn’t care. You were just going to take me away.” He looked up this time, eyes blazing in Emma’s direction. Her eyes were blown wide. She tipped her head to Regina, but she wouldn’t look to her. Dammit. This was the opposite of how it was supposed to go.

“I wasn’t taking you away from Regina. I just, I thought New York would’ve been best for you. It was safe, away from magic and all this crazy stuff that keeps on happening. Kid, I…I just-” she looked back to Regina, who sat with one leg crossed over the other, head bowed and twisted, staring at the floor whilst Emma struggled to push past her own mess.

“I think you were doing that for you, Miss swan,” Regina rather unhelpfully added. Okay, she had a point and it wasn’t like Emma hadn’t thought about that possibility. Then there was the time travelling. Then Elsa. They’d stayed and she hadn’t let herself think about the actions since.

“This is my home, Emma,” he said and the use of the name stung, but she decided to keep quiet, “you could be part of that, here, as a family. But you keep choosing to run away from everyone who loves you. It’s not fair. Why won’t you ever think of anyone else but yourself?”

“Henry!” Regina may be in some agreement with her son when it had come to Emma taking him away, but that was crossing the line. The look on Emma’s face told her she felt like she had been slapped. The saviour role a great deal of pressure on one person’s shoulders. Particularly when it landed on someone who hadn’t been able to rely on a single person her entire life and then she was expected to be the person who was relied upon. “I understand your frustration, but I will not have you talking to your mother that way. She has done a great deal for this town, for everyone in it and for you.”

He shuffled uncomfortable and stared intently at his milkshake. “Sorry,” he mumbled, whilst Emma managed to finally catch Regina’s gaze.

_‘You okay,_ ’ she mouthed across the table, to which Emma nodded tightly and smiled. She wasn’t. Her son was right, she was selfish and all she wanted to do right now was run.

“I’m sorry too, Henry. The other day, it wasn’t about you. Everything had become too much. I don’t know if you can understand, but everyone expects something from me, without ever asking what I want. You’re right, with New York, I didn’t take into consideration your feelings. I just thought it was for the best.” She shrugged, because what else was there to say?

“I just lost my dad. Then you were going to take me away from my mom. Now you were going to leave so I would lose my other mom. It’s not fair, Emma. No one cares about what I want.” He threw his arms up and Regina placed a hand on his shoulder.

This time, the use of the name felt justified. When put like that. Emma shook her head, needing to find a way to clear it. She was the worst mother of the year and all she wanted to do was shrink away. Regina had long moved her hand from her knee and she felt bare without the touch.

“I’ll never take you away from your mother and I promise I will never leave you. You’re right, kid, I wasn’t thinking about you when it came to New York. I was-” swallowing, she glanced at Regina then back to her son, now she had his attention, “I was scared. My parents were suddenly back in my life, expecting another baby. I didn’t know how to deal with that and then losing…Neal, it was hard. I wanted to run away from it all, but I didn’t want to lose you. I was being selfish.”

The warm hand on her knee was back, “I can’t say I was thrilled with your decision-”

“I’m sorry, too, Regina. You gave me and Henry those memories then I was content to simply to take him away back to the life you helped build.” Regina nodded and squeezed a little tighter.

Maleficent strolled into the diner. Emma’s stomach grumbled and she longed for just one evening where she could devour the grilled cheese her mouth watered over. Regina’s back went rigid.

“Enjoying some quality time, dears?” Maleficent stood directly over the table, both palms pressed to it, “is this your attempts of getting her heart?”

“You can’t have it!” Henry bolted up right, fists clenched by his sides, “my mothers are stronger together and you can’t have her heart.” His face began to redden and Regina shuffled over to the side of the booth and placed a soothing hand on his shoulder. As much as he was well intentioned, his outburst might have made things more complicated.

“Mal,” she warned and stood, eyeing her suspiciously, “he’s my son. You don’t want to cause any trouble around my child.” Her face darkened for only Maleficent and Emma to see and she dropped her voice an octave, “hurt him and even your dragon will cower at what I would do to you.”

Henry didn’t so much as shiver. He stood his ground firmly, now used to his mother’s nature. She no longer dabbled in the side of darkness, but when it came to protecting him, no one could stop the array of emotions and threats which spilled out.

“Oh, I wouldn’t hurt an innocent child, dear-” she smirked and cocked her head to where Emma remained seated, “you all looked so cosy and I was simply wondering why, considering not all that long ago you poofed me into your vault and well-” she wiggled her eyebrows at Emma then looked back to Regina.

Her face paled and with parted lips, turned her head, “Emma,” the word died on her lips as the meaning dawned. Shaking her head, she pushed out from the table. Henry wrinkled his nose, but pushed those thoughts away. “Emma, wait-”

Emma barged past them. The room shook. They froze and every person within the diner stopped and glanced to each other. It shook again.

“What the…?” Turning, Emma faced back around from where she had almost reached the door. Hardened eyes met Regina’s, “magic,” she said simply and turned back around.

Regina quickly shooed Henry off to Granny for protection, shook her head at Maleficent’s chuckle and ran out of the diner with Emma behind her. “Emma, just-”

“Don’t.” Emma’s body tensed as she ran towards the commotion. Maleficent poofed to the middle of the street where Rumple and Cruella stood waiting. He wafted his hands over his head and created a barrier which would protect them. Regina huffed.

“I gave you enough time, dearie. I believe some consequences may be in order.” He smirked and raised both palms as if trying to raise an army.

Snow and Charming ran to them, “what’s happening?” Snow looked around frantically, bow on her back.

It took everything within Emma not to turn and look at them. She had reached her limit in the diner and now adding her parents to the mix felt as if her head might take off.

“Gold,” Regina answered where it became clear Emma was not going to, “get ready to fight.”

“We’ll cover your sides-” David pulled out his sword then moved to the other side of Regina, Snow staying firmly put by her daughter. Regina called for magic and Emma stood, letting the anger fester inside her gut.

By the time Rumple’s arms had been lifted into the air, magic in the form of a tornado ascended from the ground and spun towards them. Along with rodents and mutant animals’ intent on their destruction.

“They’re not real,” Regina hissed, bracing herself, “but if they touch you they’ll seem as if they are.”

The tornado grew and moved its way towards them. The rest of the townspeople began to scream and run off in the other direction. David moved and sliced an animal with his sword. Snow pulled out arrows and shot them before they could reach either of them. The wind carried and blew through their hair and the sky darkened.

“Ready?” Regina asked where she received a curt nod. She had no idea if their magic would hold off the impending blow, but they had to try.

As if their minds had connected and became one, they shot their arms out at the same time. Combined magic hit the tornado. Their faces scrunched as they each had their arms stretched towards it, feet digging into the ground and wind pushing them. They both tensed their bodies, whilst Rumple looked on, amused. David and Snow continued to defend.

The sounds of the tornado travelled to them, to the point where an animal jumped at Emma. Snow dived in front of her, both arms bent over her face whilst David ran and slaughtered the beast. By the time Snow was back up, David went back into position and they were all back to doing their jobs. For the briefest of moments, Emma’s eyes were filled with panic. Then the betrayal seeped back into her bones and they morphed into holding anger.

“Emma, we need to talk about this,” Snow practically yelled over the wind, “you can’t hold this against me forever.”

Unbeknown to them, Maleficent had poofed behind them, but even she wasn’t the type of person to stab her enemy behind the back. She stood in place deciding her next move, but the conversation between them sparked her curiosity.

“You took my darkness out of me. You didn’t want me unless I was your perfect princess. You can shove it, Mary-Margret and that’s not even the worst part,” she bellowed, throwing magic as she went, “you put that darkness into another baby. I don’t care if it was a dragon, you made Maleficent lose her child. A _mother._ I don’t know what I’d do if I lost Henry. But me being ‘good’ was more important than someone else’s child.”

“Emma, that’s not what-”

A dragon roared above them and added fire to the tornado. Regina glanced at Emma and they continued to throw as much power into the tornado as they could. It got closer and they more they threw at it the bigger it became.

“It’s feeding off us,” Regina yelled, frowning. She dropped her hands then moved behind Emma. Maleficent continued to flap her wings above them. “I need you to trust me.”

Emma’s jaw clenched, “that’s not going to happen.”

“For the love of god. There’s a giant magical tornado heading our way! Hate me all you want, but I would much rather be alive for that to happen.” Emma sighed and nodded, aware they were running out of time. “Close your eyes, I need you to go off instinct.”

Regina wrapped both arms around Emma’s middle. That part wasn’t strictly necessary, but they did have to be touching in some way. She needed to find a way to offer even the slightest bit of comfort. Emma leant back into her and squeezed her eyes tighter despite herself. “What next?”

“Channel my magic and do whatever comes into your mind. Like in the woods.” Regina squeezed a little tighter when Emma hesitated. Then she nodded and took a deep breath.

On the exhale, she did exactly what she had in the woods. She blew on the magic. This time, it wasn’t her own magic, but with the combination of Regina’s magic she could feel coursing through her blood, the breath extended and magnified. It hit the tornado of magic and began to make it crumble from the inside out.

“Keep going,” Regina whispered down her ear and moved her lips away before she pressed a kiss to Emma’s skin. She had regretted that decision ever since she had made it, but now she hated herself even more for the harm it had done to Emma. She should’ve known, but she would forever remain absolute when it came to destroying anything good which came into her life.

They were so focused on the magic and Snow and David had been defending from both sides, sweat forming on both their foreheads, they didn’t see when a heard of animals sprung up behind them. A loud roar sounded from above, a dragon batted her wings to move so she hovered above them and she breathed fire. Four pairs of eyes went wide and they simultaneously cowered. The fire missed them, instead it burnt every single animal which would’ve headed their way. Which could’ve harmed Regina. Maleficent shifted back. Rumple chuckled and poofed himself and Cruella away, the scene around them evaporating.

A pair of wide brown eyes stared at Maleficent. She gave one nod before poofing herself away. Emma pushed out of Regina’s arms then spun a few feet in front of them all, “what the hell was all that about?”

“Smoke and mirrors. Rumple’s…confusing. He wanted to send a message.”

“I meant-” Emma’s bottom lip trembled for half a second before she bit down on it. She shook her head and spun away from them all, “get Henry. We’ll go back to the loft and figure this out.”

The three of them glanced to each other and nodded. Snow and David were breathing heavily, putting away swords and arrows. Regina pulled away from them to retrieve her son and hoped she hadn’t ruined their relationship before it had even begun.


	13. Chapter 13

Five sets of feet clipped and stomped into the loft. They scattered around the room; Snow going straight to the kitchen to make drinks, Henry plonked on the couch, as too did David after he’d gone to check in on Neal and remembered they had left him with Granny which left Regina to pull a few chairs closer to the couch. Emma eyed it then remained stood, shuffling near the counter top.

“What was all that about?” David had his knees wide, each elbow resting on them and looked directly at Regina, “that seemed…”

Regina sighed and dragged fingers through her hair, “he was sending a message. Gold…he’s smart. If he had wanted to hurt us we wouldn’t all be standing here.”

“Then why mutant dogs?” Snow placed a steaming mug of hot chocolate, whipped cream piled on top, next to Emma.

“Cruella,” she muttered, not once looking to her mother or acknowledging her further.

“Thanks-” Regina took the offered coffee, wrapping both palms around the mug to warm them, “yes, I believe that would’ve been Cruella’s doing. She doesn’t have magic of her own, except when it comes to animals.”

“It was super awesome!” Henry beamed, ignoring the growing tension in the room, “like, I saw it all from Granny’s and my family is badass.” Snow passed him a mug with the same contents as Emma’s. “And the best,” he said, eyes widening at the hot chocolate.

“We’ll always protect this family-” David lightly squeezed his shoulder then took the mug of coffee from his wife, pecking her cheek in thanks.

“Not always,” Emma muttered under her breath, head bowed and arms crossed around her chest. It was heard by everyone. Regina’s face clearly showed her pain. David and Snow glanced to each other at a loss. Henry placed his mug down then went to his mother. Both arms circled her waist and she crushed him to her chest in under a second flat.

“Love you, mom.” He closed his eyes, Emma’s apology and the thought of losing her had those doubts turn to ash. His hands clasped behind her back as she tugged him closer.

“I love you too, kid.” She took another moment to breathe him in. As much as the pain of losing everyone had flared, this one hug had the weight in her heart lifting. There was no way she could’ve known, all those years ago when a handcuff had kept her in place as she’d given birth, how much that child could right any wrong. It felt that way at least, because no matter what she had been through, this hug alone was worth it all. “I’m always going to be here. I promise.”

When he pulled away, he smiled so bright it could challenge the morning sun, “I know,” he said simply and bounced back off to get a taste of that whipped cream. Emma’s eyes followed him and she sighed, him being more than anything she could’ve hoped for.

“We are too, Emma,” David said, “whether you want to believe it or not. All we wanted to do was protect our child.” The moment passed. Emma crossed her arms, bowed her head and shrugged.

“Sweetie-”

“Snow,” Regina warned, already stopping herself from reaching out. What she would do right now to pull Emma into her arms. Emma glanced her way and for a second it was as if she had forgotten what she had learnt in the diner. Green eyes fell flat and looked back to the ground. Regina nodded in acceptance. “We need to find out what he’s planning and I’ve lost my in.”

“As much as it pains me to say so,” Snow came around and sat on the chair to one side of Regina, “Maleficent helped us. Is there any chance you could talk to her? Perhaps she’s changing her perspective.”

Emma flinched and the acceptance flew out of the window. “Perhaps-” she stood and lightly gripped Emma’s elbow, “just excuse us,” she said to the rest of them and dragged Emma outside before she could even protest.

“Hey. Rude!” Emma frowned as Regina shut the door.

“We need to talk.”

“No, we d-”

“There’s nothing going on between me and Maleficent. I promise you, Emma. Something almost did happen between us a short while ago, but I stopped it because of you. It’s not her I want.” Regina blurted the words out as quickly as she could, before Emma decided to either stop her talking or bolt.

“Something is not nothing. When?” Emma hardened her eyes as if she could prevent any emotion from conveying straight from them.

Regina’s breath shuddered, “the night after we all met in the library.”

Emma deserved honesty. If it meant losing their chance then that would be down to her poor decisions. Emma looked away and was back to crossing her arms. The hardened eyes failed her, because now they gleamed. “The night after I…after we kissed?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” Emma turned her head back and stared intently into her eyes.

Regina shrugged and gave her a watery smile, “I was terrified. I don’t do well with people caring about me. With people loving me-” she reached for Emma’s hand and gave an internal sigh when she allowed Regina to hold onto it, “I destroy anything good that comes into my life, but, I stopped it, because all I wanted was you. I do even less well with the people I love.”

Emma’s lips parted and she stared. The hand in hers tightened. She wanted to be mad and hurt and stomp around and push Regina away. It wouldn’t help anything. They had never been in a relationship, but it still felt like a punch to the gut. “You…”

“I love you,” she said, eyes shining, lips curling and heart beating so fast it felt as if it would push from her chest any moment. Emma tried to hide her smile, the way her cheeks flushed, but then she ducked her head with a smirk and it only made Regina’s heart pound that much harder. “I’ll understand if I’ve ruined our chance. There’s no pressure, but I promise I’ll never do anything like that again. Even if I’m scared beyond my wits. I want you, Emma. All of you.”

Emma swallowed, “we weren’t even in a relationship,” she said thickly, “it’s not like-”

“It was still a shitty thing for me to do, Emma.” It really had been. Emma had confessed her feelings and she had ended up seducing another woman. ‘Shitty’ didn’t begin to cover it.

“I do want you-” her chin wobbled and she took a few breaths before looking back at Regina, “can I have a hug?”

Regina’s insides melted at Emma’s small voice. She smiled warmly, “of course.”

Arms wrapped tightly around Emma’s shoulders. She circled her own arms around Regina’s waist, laying her cheek on Regina’s shoulder and closed her eyes. Regina held her tighter and let her own eyes flutter closed. Then they swayed a little and it must have been the day for them, because this simple hug meant everything to Emma. Regina’s arms felt incredible and her body was warm and soft and she snuggled as closely as she could.

Regina sighed and Emma felt the way her chest inflated and deflated against her. It had a smile push up on Emma’s cheeks, both eyes so tightly squeezed shut, “I love you too.”

The next moment, they’d pulled back and were kissing. A little urgency was shared between them, but otherwise it was soft lips sliding over soft lips. Pressing and parting with tongues daring out and wetting lips. Regina tangled her fingers in Emma’s hair to keep her in place as she deepened the kiss. Emma moaned at the tongue swirling around her mouth. Arms tightened around Regina’s waist until their bodies were flushed together. The kiss could’ve lasted 5 minutes or 5 hours, time alluding them both as they got lost in the sensations.

By the time they had pulled away and remembered everyone was sat inside waiting for them, did they push the door open with shy smiles and flushed cheeks. Snow and David shared a knowing glance. Henry scrunched his face and ignored the way his mom’s lipstick was smeared on his other mom’s lips.

“Everything alright?” Snow beamed at Regina, aware Emma still refused to make eye contact. Perhaps there was another way to mend their relationship, she simply hadn’t figured it out yet.

“You both took your time.” David had a twinkle in his eye which had Regina roll her own.

It didn’t stop the way Emma sat on a stool and pulled Regina down with her, “cuddle with me,” she whispered and Regina did exactly that. Emma didn’t add that she needed to feel something good, because her stomach would freefall whenever she was around her parents. Regina perched on her lap and under usual circumstances, she would never show so much affection for someone with others – especially her son – around, but she had felt the way Emma’s body had tensed upon walking into the loft. So she cuddled with her on the chair.

“Please don’t start being gross,” Henry added, though his smirk did give him away, “but I’m glad you’ve both stopped being dumb. The last guys you dated were like the worst people on the planet.”

“Forest fart-” Emma laughed at the words and Henry joined in, “and I gotta agree kid. I can’t believe I even dated…” she couldn’t bring herself to say his name either. What she had been thinking she didn’t know.

“Guyliner?” Regina happily added, considering her last semi-boyfriend had been given a similar name, “I do believe we’ve both upgraded.”

Emma softly pushed a piece of hair behind Regina’s ear, glad the ‘deserve’ word had seemed to have lessened. “Yeah, we have.”

Their lips pecked in the sweetest of kisses, with Emma smiling as the rest of the background faded to nothing. If it wasn’t for the way David cleared his throat, she would’ve leaned back in for more. “We still need to talk about Gold.”

Moment shattered, Regina reluctantly got up from Emma’s lap and pulled the chair so it sat touching Emma’s. There was a pout and if they were alone she would’ve kissed it right off Emma’s lips. Regina focused her mind and took a deep breath, “there’s something I haven’t told anyone about.” Mainly because she hadn’t had the chance to sit down with any of them and tell them what she had learnt, but the knowledge had pieced some things together and she hadn’t wanted to share either.

All of their eyes swung her way and she nodded, “it’s about an object Gold has acquired. Apparently, he made contacts whilst he lived outside of the town. Other than that, I have no idea where he has gotten it.”

“Is it going to do something to me?” Emma asked, intertwining their fingers and rested their hands on her lap with a small smile.

“I believe so,” she said solemnly, “remember the day you found me in the woods?” Emma nodded, waiting for her to continue. “I made a deal with-”

“Regina!”

“Mom!”

“A deal?” David added, “really Regina?”

“Even I thought you were smarter than that.” Snow cocked a brow and she felt the frustration grow.

“I’m not an imbecile-” both eyes rolled, “the deal was if I brought back Emma’s heart he would show me the object. He further proposed to tell me about it without any further conditions other than what was stated. I don’t bring the heart. He doesn’t show me the object. I break no deals and there was nothing about sharing the information.” He really had lost his touch. Or was desperate.

“Nice-” Henry shot her an approving look then took a long sip of his hot chocolate. Regina grabbed her mug from the floor to finish the coffee before continuing. Emma’s remained untouched.

“So-” she squeezed Emma’s hand and waited until she had everyone’s full attention and began to inform them of the object and what it was capable of, why she believed Gold needed the heart of the saviour, devoid of darkness and how this could only come to pass because of the darkness Snow and David had taken away from their unborn baby. By the end, Emma had paled and was more than resolute than ever that what her parents did was never about her protection.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” Emma asked, straying completely off topic whilst everyone else was silent. It was a silent plea, not suggestive in the slightest. Regina didn’t let herself look to anyone other than Emma. Especially to either Snow or David who appeared completely at a loss. They were losing Emma and Regina had tried to talk to them, but there was only so far she could go before they were the ones who had to do the work to get their daughter back.

With a soft smile, Regina tucked a piece of Emma’s hair behind her ear, “of course, Emma. You’re always welcome. Would you like to leave now?” All Emma did was nod.

“Emma, please-”

“Snow.” Regina silenced her with the tone of her voice. She took the seat Henry had occupied, now shuffling near his parents and no longer oblivious to the tension. “Go grab some things and we’ll head back to the mansion.” Emma nodded again and her feet stomped up the stairs as she took them two at a time.

“You need to fix this,” Regina hissed for all of their sakes, “stop justifying what you did. Own up to your mistakes and put.her.first.” How many times would she have to say it? Maybe this time it would get through. Snow looked thoroughly chastised as if she’d been reprimanded by a parent and Davis swallowed and diverted his eyes. Good; hopefully they’ll soon learn and not ruin their relationship.

Emma climbed down the stairs, slowing as she reached the bottom, “I’m ready to go,” she said, ruffled Henry’s hair then intertwined her fingers with Regina. They left, her mug of hot chocolate long cold on the kitchen counter.

***

Emma shuffled near the bedroom door. Regina had come to say goodnight, but Emma appeared reluctant to go inside of the guest room. On a sigh, Regina lightly squeezed her bicep, “would you like to sleep in my bed?” The question not only terrified her, but seemed to do the same to Emma. She nodded quickly and Regina gripped her hand and went to lead her to the room, when Emma pulled back.

Regina turned and Emma bit her lip, eyes flickering to the room then back to Regina. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s…nothing.” She took a step, but Regina shook her head and cupped her cheek.

“What’s wrong? Have you changed your mind?” Regina hoped she hadn’t or that she had, she couldn’t make up her mind. She wanted to have Emma close by, but their relationship hadn’t much transitioned into the romantic area and she didn’t want to push too quickly.

“No, I just…”

Regina’s thumb gently stroked Emma’s cheek, “did you need to get something?”

Another tight nod then Emma went into the guest room and came back into view with her baby blanket clung to her chest. Regina decided not to comment on it. She smiled softly, rubbed Emma’s arms briefly then made her way to the bedroom, hoping Emma would follow.

By the time they both ended up in the bed, the room cascaded in darkness, did Regina allow herself to relax. Being this intimate with Emma was nice. More than nice. They both lay on their sides facing each other, Emma’s baby blanket on the pillow and under her cheek. “Do you want to talk?”

Emma shuffled closer, finding Regina under the covers. Their feet touched, next one of Emma’s legs shuffled in between Regina’s. A hand went on her hip and Regina sighed then bent her arm up until it found the back of Emma’s shoulder. “This feels so good,” Emma whispered, ignoring the question, “like…“ Emma’s stomach fluttered and she tipped her head so their foreheads touched, “so fucking good.”

Regina kissed her in the dark, eyes shutting and remained that way. She wanted to touch all of Emma and have Emma touch all of her, but as much as she wanted to be as close as they could get, slow was what she had promised herself and Emma didn’t seem to be in a good state of mind. Seducing her wasn’t a good idea. She would keep it innocent, “it feels incredible, darling.”

“Are you the little of the big soon?” Emma asked with a slight chuckle. It vibrated throughout the silence of the room and Regina was glad for a moment where Emma was okay.

Regina bit her lip, not eager to admit it, “neither, it’s a ridiculous concept.”

“The lies,” Emma teased and poked her rips, “I like being both, but mainly the big spoon. Can I hold you?” she asked with so much uncertainty. Regina couldn’t wait until the moment she could show her just how much she was loved. Without words, Regina spun and shuffled backwards until her back hit Emma’s front. Their legs curled up and moulded together. Emma placed a hand on Regina’s ribs and slowly rubbed it along her stomach until the arm was snug against her.

“Emma,” Regina whispered, pushing further back as if it were possible. Emma kissed her hair and held on tighter, “I love you.”

Breathing deeply, Emma buried her face in Regina’s neck and smiled against it, “I’ve got you and I love you too.”

Regina was almost certain it was supposed to be her taking care of Emma, but the reverse was just as much appreciated. Her chest inflated and deflated slowly, never feeling as content in Emma’s arms as she had anywhere her entire life. She reached her arm back and used her finger tips to gently brush over any part of Emma she could reach. “I’m always here, if you need me.”

“I’m not ready to talk.” Emma squeezed her tighter and Regina understood that she was taking care of Emma just as much as in the reverse. She also noted the blanket had been tossed behind Emma and she was being used for comfort. Not that she minded in the slightest. Cuddling with Emma may have been the best experience she hadn’t known she had needed. Knowing there was more of this in her future almost made her giddy.

Regina nodded against her, not wanting to push. Emma relaxed against her and that was an incredible feeling in and of itself. Another peck found her shoulder then they both began to relax with deep breaths and calming hearts. Neither of them knew what would happen tomorrow, but all that mattered in that moment was them and for right now, it was more than enough.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a little while. There's another chapter because I've had to split this one up as it was getting long. I'll finish it as soon as I can and get it out.

It wasn’t as off putting as Regina had been imagining it to be like within her mind. Not when she stood leaning against a door frame to her study, a glass of cider in one hand, eyes trailing Maleficent as she walked with a gracefulness she had once come to appreciate. Soft fingers, which had once caressed her body tenderly, swiped along various possessions in the room.

“Odd,” she muttered, to nobody in particular. She walked over to the mantelpiece and lifted the framed photo. Regina held her breath as Maleficent traced the picture containing the two people she loved most. She sighed, “you do seem awfully attached to this saviour-” she turned, one hand still clutching the frame and made eye contact, “can I ask why? After everything you once did. The hatred you held within your heart for Snow White. Why then did you let yourself fall for her daughter?”

She gulped down half the cider, placed the glass on the table then made her way to over.

“According to Gold,” she began, taking the frame from her and used her middle finger to trace along the edges of their faces, a small smile creeping up, “the saviour was supposed to defeat me. The Evil Queen.” She looked to Maleficent, able to say those words without even a flinch. “And she did, just not in the way we all thought.”

The frame was placed back where it belonged and Regina returned to her drink. The burn helped, but it didn’t stop her eyes from filling. “You left me,” she said on a tremble, these memories having a way of playing on her worst fears, “don’t let me lose her too.” She would plead if that’s what it took.

“I see.” Maleficent nodded as if something had become clear, though her blank expression said otherwise. Regina swallowed, once aware of the little thoughts which ran through Maleficent’s mind and unconsciously wrapped her arms around her middle. Maleficent flickered her eyes to them, lifting her eyes back up to look directly into brown orbs she had once come to cherish. “I had once lost all hope of your return. The darkness consumed you to the point I had to take a step back. I did not leave you, my dear, rather the darkness that would not let go of your heart.”

She strode across the room, used the back of her fingers to run down Regina’s cheek. She shivered, closed her eyes and welcomed the gesture. “You were once so lost, Regina. I remember your innocence, your feisty nature, the playfulness only I was permitted to lay witness too.” She took a step back, looking back into opening eyes.

“I remember,” Regina whispered and smiled sadly. As much as those years were many she would much rather forget, some moments had been worth clinging onto. For years, there had been no place she would rather have been, than huddled in the warm arms of a dragon.

Until her night with Emma.

Maleficent looked to her with a sort of fondness. One which Regina hadn’t seen since her resurrection. “I have always remembered.”

“Please help me.”

Mal had been her comfort. A safety blanket. Whenever she had been hurt, Mal was there to kiss her wounds. Until the day she wasn’t. Although she had wanted her revenge, burying Maleficent under the library had been more than enough. The second reason she let go off completely. She had wanted her close; in case there was ever a time the darkness within simmered enough, it left enough room for Maleficent.

Now she had Emma and Henry.

If they were to ever reach a place of friendship; albeit it after everything, then that would be enough and as far as their relationship would ever go again.

Rumple had other plans, it had seemed. Maleficent could be somewhat of a forgiving creature, though with this, Regina could understand. Having your own child taken away did something to damage your self-worth and no doubt took something so vitally important from Maleficent. When years later, after having her freedom removed, the saviour, a child deemed more worthy than her own, jabbed a sword within her, only understanding remained.

So did their history.

Maleficent moved closer and swept a piece of hair behind Regina’s ear, leaning forwards to place a tender kiss on her forehead. No underlying meaning, no advances, it was a moment which was long overdue.

“I will,” she said, waiting a breath of a second before continuing, “but not for them, or even her, but for you, my dear. I saw you reach the height of darkness and if it was she who played even a part in reigning that darkness in and instead filling your heart with love. Then I will help you.”

“Thank you.” Regina tentatively found herself in her arms, mind falling back into days when she was not much older than a scared child. After a lifetime of being denied affection, Regina had found it within Maleficent. No matter what their present may look like, that same affection remained. They may have lost their chance; not like their past circumstances permitted them to have one and neither of them wanted another, but perhaps they could find something new.

“Do you love her?” she asked, tipping her head and pulling back so they were no longer wrapped in an embrace. Both hands travelled down the lengths of Regina’s arms and she smiled softly. Both at the thought of Emma and due to the soft caress.

It had been locked within her for so long. She had told Emma, but feared expressing as much to another person. Perhaps maybe she could let this out to a person she had trusted so very much as a young woman.

“Yes,” she said, a tremble running through her body, “very much.”

Maleficent nodded her head with what appeared to be a smile. “I do believe I had the wrong impression of the saviour. I overheard her talking to her mother during the fight. I am glad you have found someone to love and who I hope will love you back.”

Regina’s phone vibrated in her pocket before she could ask what was overheard. “Henry?” Her face hardened and she looked back at Maleficent with fire in her eyes. “Gold. If you hurt one hair on his head-”

“Ah,” Gold gave a small chuckle down the phone, “the saviour just arrived. Better get to the woods quickly, dearie. I won’t harm your boy if you and Miss Swan comply.”

Maleficent was already at the door by the time Regina had shoved the phone back into her pocket. She gripped onto Regina’s arm and pulled her back the moment she went to teleport into the woods. “We need a plan. Rumple will not know I am helping you. We take a few minutes to think and we will save them.”

“I won’t let Emma be filled with darkness.” Regina turned those blazing eyes to Maleficent, “I would rather give my own heart than see harm come to them.”

“You know that is not how it works. I understand your frustration, but I think I have an idea. Listen and trust me.” It was asking a lot, considering everything. Regina nodded despite herself; asking her to the mansion had been a risk in itself, but she didn’t doubt her word. Right now, she was desperate and only hoped she could reach them on time.

***

A lot can happen in nine minutes. That had been the amount of time it had taken for Regina to get to the woods after the call. They had talked rapidly and although had scarcely come up with any sort of plan, once something had been made, Regina had wafted her arms and went in search of her family. The first thing she noted now her boots trampled on the dampened leaves, was the distinct smell of burning copper.

Not far from the cabin, Regina walked alone, heart pounding so loud it was a wonder it hadn’t leapt from her chest. She wasn’t subtle in her movements; she needed Emma and Henry to know someone was coming to protect them. With her forearms, she batted away some branches and was only a few feet from the cabin when her feet planted firmly on the ground.

What appeared to be a bronze shot-put rested on a stand on the ground, magic in the form of electricity shot around it as if there were some invisible force preventing the magic from exploding. The next thing that followed was black smoke along with Gold, Emma and Henry.

Regina took one step forwards. Gold yanked Henry to him whilst simultaneously reaching an arm out to the side and chocking Emma. Brown eyes skittered between them, hand sliding into her back pocket and hitting the prepared text message to inform Maleficent that they were all in her view. It made her take one easy breath until her chest tightened again. She took another step-

“Ah, ah, ah, come any closer dearie and they’ll both pay your price.” He squeezed his fingers and Emma scratched her own throat whilst her body curled. Regina had to restrain herself from using magic to fight him. One arm remained wrapped around Henry, who’s breathing was laboured. He locked eyes with Regina. She nodded once and made a silent promise that she would save them. The object continued to fizzle in between them all.

The next moment, Emma fell to the ground. She scrambled on the floor to a seated position and coughed until she was close to vomiting. Regina’s face twisted for a mere second until she pulled the composure of a queen. “You’re a coward,” she shot at him, “you’re so dark you can’t handle it anymore, so you’ll force it into the innocent.”

Rumple chuckle, “the innocent? I doubt Miss Swan is all that innocent. I’m sure she has a murky past much like us all.”

Eleven minutes. Unlike those nine where she had expected to find the worst scenario she could think of, two mere minutes later, a worse one came to pass. Henry’s face scrunched in pain whilst Gold’s hand plunged into his chest. He pulled out a glowing red heart; not a single speckle of blackness and lifted it into the air. He shoved Henry away and he fell to the ground. Regina became immobile. That was, until she heard Henry’s groan from where Gold had clenched his fingers.

Regina hoisted Henry up and wrapped him in her arms, “everything’s going to be okay,” she whispered into his ear, “stay calm for me?” If he didn’t, Regina wouldn’t survive and if she lost her head then she could come to lose everyone she cared for. Eyes she hadn’t held since her days as the Evil Queen settled on her face. She looked to Rumple and he smirked, heart held high in the air. “If I didn’t loath you before, then I will do with every inch of by being. If you hurt either of them. I swear I will make you regret it for as long as I still breathe.”

She meant every word and glowered at him when he simply chuckled at her words, “you’ll do no such thing. Give me her heart and you can have his back. Nice and easy does it and if you’d given it to me in the first place, we all wouldn’t be standing here.”

Emma had finally pushed herself to a standing position and walked over to them, shaking from head to toe, “Regina,” she said, eyes diverting from the buzzing magical object back to Henry’s heart and then Regina, “take it. I can handle darkness. I can’t handle-” eyes flickered to Henry’s heart then back to her son.

“Emma,” she said with a thick voice. With one arm still around Henry, she tugged one around Emma’s shoulders then pecked her lips, “love you,” she whispered, not knowing what would come next. Maleficent should already be here, waiting. She had to trust that she would follow through.

“Love you-” she glanced at Regina then back at Henry, “and you too, kid.”

“Mom.” He swallowed and wanted to protest, but the moment he did a sharp pain spread through his chest. He bent in two with a whimpered scream. Regina pulled him close and rubbed his lower back, concentrating only on Henry and not the murderous impulses cursing through her veins.

“Moments over-” he squeezed a little harder then released, cocked his head at the object which was about to be ready for use then back to Regina, “take it,” he sneered and Regina shut her brain off and plunged a hand into Emma’s chest.

Regina yanked it out as Emma winced and scrunched her face and gritted her teeth, “I’m sorry,” she whispered. The heart had black spots, small little pieces of the murky past Gold had mentioned, but remained glowing and full of light. After reluctantly letting go of her son, she cupped her hands around it with tiny shuddered breaths, caressing it as each foot shuffled forwards. Emma squeezed Henry’s shoulder then pulled him to her side. Regina concentrated on that the closer she got to Gold.

It was one of those moments that made her reflect. The heart she had once wanted so desperately; to crush, had become the heart she had wanted so desperately; to love. Regina held it as if it were a precious object. How she had gotten to this point, she didn’t know. Perhaps if she hadn’t gone undercover to try and save them. It she hadn’t needed to protect Emma then maybe they wouldn’t all be out here in the woods.

If she hadn’t cast a curse they wouldn’t be out here in the woods, either. There would be no Henry, no ‘us’ or ‘them’ or family. She wouldn’t have found a way to allow Snow in and for her to be included in that family. She’d still be in her castle; miserable and thinking up ways to destroy a person she’d come to care for. She might have even given up, secluded herself to her castle as Maleficent once did. She had hurt many, but none of them were worse off. And yes, she did hurt Emma. The baby she hadn’t known to exist when she’d gone to Rumple with a type of glee which wasn’t really glee. She had gone for his approval to be told there would be a saviour who would take all she had done away. A shudder ran through her at her next words, mind skipping over the possibility.

The saviour was destined to defeat the Evil Queen and oh, did she, with her furious eyes and chain saw and the way she wouldn’t back down. Not when it came to defeating her. Not when it came to aligning with her. Not when it came to loving her. Although, she did wish she could give Emma the childhood she deserved and take away her pain, all of that made Emma who she was and she wouldn’t change one miniscule part of her for anything.

Perhaps that’s what love was. Loving someone not despite their flaws or imperfections, loving all of them including all those things. Because she loved Emma and if she was being honest, the feelings had been there for as long as she could recall. Not in their early days, but sometime after that, Emma had saved her and invited her and looked to her a little differently than all the rest. Without Emma, she wouldn’t be standing where she was now.

For a moment, she had faith their love was strong enough. Emma had called her special and promised to fight for her happy ending, Emma had loved her knowing all she had done. She wasn’t the person Emma should’ve fallen in love with, but she had and there was nothing either of them could do other than embrace it.

That faith waivered at Gold’s smirk.

She placed the heart in one hand and held it just out of easy reach of him, “his heart,” she said and held out her other hand. He hovered one hand over Emma’s heart and slowly placed Henry’s in Regina’s open palm. He could play tricks and she didn’t trust him, but in the immediate, they had to get Henry to safety. The exchange was so quick, time slowed. Her left hand now empty, the other was full with a smaller heart. Everything jumped started. She spun, ran to Henry and plunged it back inside his chest, “MALEFICENT!”

Grey smoke appeared. Maleficent grabbed Henry’s shoulder. Regina skimmed her lips over his head then let him go with a nod. More grey smoke and they were gone.

Emma gaped, “what the-”

“He’s safe-” Regina grabbed Emma’s hand and squeezed, “breathe, he’s safe.” Next it was Emma’s turn and she twisted her head the same time Gold yanked his own heart out. Black in every sense of the word. Emma stiffened, the momentary relief gone.

“That dragon never really did get over you,” he said in a mockingly sweet voice. Emma stiffened further when it shouldn’t have been possible and Regina gritted her teeth and bit back her response.

Regina wanted to stop this, but she looked to Emma with wide eyes at a loss. She had one plan and so far it relied upon their love. It also meant she had to sit back and wait for Emma’s heart to be filled with darkness. If there was another way, she would do it. She would even take the darkness for herself, but that would mean certain death.

Gold walked over to the simmering object and grinned in pleasure. He stood behind it and facing them, the hearts slowly being placed on either side of the round object. They hung on either side of it in mid-air, the magic intensifying and cascading the hearts. Small lightening bolts went from the object to the hearts. Emma shook and Gold took a step away from the object as it began to do what it was capable of.

“Emma-” Regina turned and turned Emma to face her, placing their heads together, “I would do it all again, for you and Henry. I love you,” she whispered, tipping her head to place a gentle kiss to her lips. Regina pulled back when Emma started to shake uncontrollably and almost went to grab Emma’s heart. Her eyes flickered to it and wondered if it were possible-

“If you take it you’ll kill her,” Gold said, watching as tiny specks of his darkness tethered to the magic lightening and was transferred to the heart void of darkness. Regina didn’t know if he was speaking true, but wouldn’t take the chance.

It blackened slowly and Regina’s stomach dropped for each spec that was added. It would be too much for anyone to handle, even Rumpelstiltskin, the dark one, had reached his limit in being able to hold such an amount. Another spot and he was uncertain what would happen to his immortality. He hadn’t wanted to take that chance and they both knew the darkness needed to be in a person or it would roam free until it claimed a victim. Emma could only take that much because of her idiot parents. Even then they weren’t sure what would become of Emma.

Gold lifted his hands and added his own magic to the mix, shifting through what he did and did not want to keep. The magic shot down from his palms as he enacted the spell, his muscles quivering by the force of it. “I would run, dearie, if I were you. Queen or not-” he glared right at her whilst still shaking and struggling to speak because of it, “she won’t be who you remember.”

No sooner had he said it, he removed his hands and let the magic do the work. He lifted a hand into the air and dragged Emma closer with magic. Regina lifted an arm, took a step closer then thought better of it. As much as it pained her, she had to wait this out. She wouldn’t be running from no one. Least of all Emma Swan.

He grabbed their hearts whilst Emma stood shaking. She hadn’t been able to speak through the process and Regina regretted not wrapping her up in soothing arms. Green eyes wondered to the hearts. One was almost white, little spots of black here and there and Gold plunged that one into his chest. The other, pure black and Regina held back a scream when it was lifted and level with Emma’s chest.

The heart plunged into Emma and she was the one to tilt her head back, clench her fists and scream. It carried across the town, the birds fluttered into the sky and the leaves fell from the trees. When her head was brought up right, her eyes focused on Regina. The white orbs turned black and stayed that way. Regina trembled, took a breath then made her way to her.

Gold took a step back, pulled his dagger from his jacket and wove it over the object until it stopped fizzing. It went dead, he retrieved it and watched the scene in front of him, bemused. Emma’s body jerked as she came closer to Regina. She swallowed and met Emma somewhere in the middle. On a deep breath, she grabbed both of Emma’s arms and mushed their lips together. Emma moaned with abandon, wrapped both arms around Regina’s waist and kissed her roughly.

Emma’s tongue wiped across her lips and demanded access, but Regina pulled back to have fingers grip into her hair and pull her back down to Emma’s lips. She scrunched her face, placed both hands on Emma’s chest and pushed. They stumbled apart and Emma’s eyes shone black then returned to their normal colour. Regina frowned then let her expression morph to that of heartbreak.

“Emma,” she said, though her voice cracked on the single syllable. Certain of her own love, it meant-

Gold chuckled, “true love’s kiss won’t work, I’m afraid. You see? I’m still the dark one. Miss Swan here has inherited some darkness. There is no curse to be broken.”

“True love’s kiss,” Emma spat the words and wrinkled her nose as if they left a bad taste in her mouth, “with you. I couldn’t love you. You ruined my life.” The words punctured Regina’s already broken soul. Emma laughed and it was so full of menace Regina took a step backwards.

“Emma, that’s not you talking.” It couldn’t be. Regina might crumble and never get back up if it were. “We can fight this, Emma. I love you. Please, come here.”

Gold waved his hands and disappeared in black smoke. It went unnoticed by them. Emma smirked and moved closer until they were nose to nose, “you don’t know how to love,” she said, eyes full of cruelty. Emma grabbed her cheeks and kissed her again.

Regina, torn up inside, allowed it. If she would’ve remembered the pieces of self dignity she had been gaining recently, perhaps she would’ve pushed Emma away.

The words ate at her alive. To the point she would take anything Emma offered. They kissed in a way Regina imagined they would’ve kissed if they’d ever gone that far when the curse had still been in place. Full of hate, but passionate and as if they wanted to rip each other’s clothes off and not stop until they couldn’t breathe. She wouldn’t take it that far, though she kissed her, feeling bitterness and cold, until her feet were pulled off the ground and she wrapped them around Emma’s waist.

The arms that tightened around her made her believe Emma was still in there. Them kissing had to be more than lust, because if it wasn’t they would’ve kissed during the curse. There had to be more. “Emma,” she panted between kisses, “we need…to…talk.”

“Do we?” Emma settled her down then grabbed her ass, “I’d much rather we have some fun-” her eye brows wiggled and Regina waivered. She wanted Emma, but not like this. She kissed her instead, shutting down her brain for the moment. Emma’s tongue dived into her mouth and it felt incredible. Regina couldn’t help but moan, then she was being pushed away and fell onto her back with a groan.

“Emma?”

“You’re pathetic you know that? You’re so desperate you would’ve let me take you here, wouldn’t you?”

Regina scrambled to her feet and took a breath. This was Emma, but this Emma was different. She couldn’t expect to treat her the same and get the same results. She hardened herself to the remarks, knowing they were coming from something Emma wasn’t used to holding. “Fun’s over. Speak to me like that again and you won’t like what comes next.”

“Oh, so you have a backbone?” It was an idle threat, Regina didn’t know what she would do, but she nodded and allowed her eyes to blaze. She made her way back to Emma and stoked her hair behind her shoulder. The mixture of hard and soft confused Emma and Regina smirked.

“I will fight for you. Like you did with me. I love you, Emma Swan. Wholly and completely. Every part of me loves every part of you. I refuse to lose you to this. I will not allow you to become lost to this darkness. I will find a way.” A flicker of Emma came out in those eyes. They melted and looked to Regina with so much adoration Regina didn’t know what to do with it. The darkness took over, Emma snarled, laughed at her then pushed her away.

“Nice speech. It’s full of shit. If we’re not having fun then I’m done with you.” Emma waved her hand and teleported away. Regina’s eyes widened at the remaining black smoke, unaware she knew how to do that.

She needed to find Emma and quickly. She had no way of knowing where she would go or who she would go after. Instead, she slumped down against a tree and brought her knees to her chest where she hugged them tightly. Maleficent had promised to take Henry and keep him safe. Even she didn’t know where that meant, but she trusted her. With that in mind, she allowed herself a moment alone. Pretending those words didn’t hurt would be futile. They would rip at her until something would snap.

For the first time, Regina allowed herself to feel the hurt. Head buried in her knees, tears pricked her eyes. She cursed Emma and the darkness and their past. In a minute she would get up and find a way to help. That was in a minute. Those nine minutes back at the mansion seemed like child’s play compared to this. For right now, her chest quivered and she pulled her knees closer, knowing that everyone she had ever loved had been ripped from her. Doubt telling her this time wouldn’t be any different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Err...sorry? They'll be a happy ending I promise ;D


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...we're finally coming to the end. This is the last chapter, the next will be an epilogue. I'll get it out as soon as I can. Thank you for those who have stuck around, even with long waits between updates. I do hope you have enjoyed this and do let me know what you think :)

Not knowing what to expect, Regina teleported into the loft after Snow’s frantic call. This time, however, she refused to be side tracked or fazed by darkness which should never have belonged to Emma. She landed with a thud and took in her surroundings.

Emma bounced Neal on her hip, smiling animatedly at him whilst David and Snow looked at her in horror. “Oh! Look who’s come to join us,” she said, tickling Neal under his chin until he let out a small giggle, “shall we tell her of our plans?”

“Emma-” Snow’s voice sounded as if a huge section of that darkness had been jammed into her throat, “ _please,_ he’s innocent.”

“So was I.” She looked directly into her mother’s eyes, “my innocence didn’t stop either of you, did it?” Snow shivered and Emma felt…something. Then it was gone. Her mother never wanted her anyway.

Regina walked closer to them and frowned. Surely Emma wouldn’t hurt a child? No…she, “what’s going on?” Her voice didn’t waiver and each of them swung their heads towards where she stood. “Well?” Both hands went to her hips when none of them answered. David swallowed so hard the lump bobbed in his throat.

Emma chuckled and walked over to Regina. Brown eyes searched hers suspiciously, widening when Emma smiled. She leant forwards to gently kiss Regina’s lips, one arm holding onto Neal, her other hand falling to Regina’s lower back. The kiss was brief, but gentle and Regina had closed her eyes and allowed herself a moment to indulge. When Emma pulled back, there was less affection in Regina’s eyes than she would’ve expected. It threw her off, then she didn’t care.

Fingers tightened over the material covering Regina’s back. Emma kissed her neck, moving her lips to Regina’s ear, “just think,” she whispered, though, purposely loud enough for everyone to hear, “this could’ve been us.” Regina sneered and took a step away. Emma’s eyes flashed that awful black before settling down.

“Tell me what you plan to do, Emma?” Taunting her was one thing, but she wouldn’t hurt a child, she wouldn’t. Regina would have to tell herself that or she would teleport straight back to those woods and never leave.

“I can see the wheels spinning in your head. Don’t worry, I’m only doing what my parents did to me. Well, I’m going to take his light and leave just his itty-bitty darkness. No biggie, right?” The smirk landed on her parents rather than Regina. For the briefest moments, she saw the logic or…how _that_ might be a way for Emma to get through to her parent’s heads.

Regina sighed and rolled her eyes, “you’re not going to be doing anything, my dear. Don’t be a fool. That’s your brother.” Regina made her way to Emma and looked directly into those blackened eyes and grabbed a hold of her free hand, “ _you_ of all people _do not hurt children._ Not after everything you have been through, Miss Swan.”

The blackness rushed away. Emma’s eyes returned to their normal colour. She pleaded with them and Regina couldn’t tell if Emma was battling or trying to convey a message.

“Perhaps I won’t-” she pulled back and walked over to her mother, handing over the child, “proves how much you know me,” she spat as Snow grabbed Neal and practically bolted, “to think I would _ever_ hurt him. I wanted you both to understand. You still don’t get me.”

“Emma, you really think using Neal would help us mend our relationship?” David sighed and stared at his son for a moment then turned back to Emma, “because using an innocent child will do the opposite.”

Regina’s eyebrows raised. It wasn’t difficult to understand his anger. If anyone dared hurt Henry, she wouldn’t hold those emotions in, but, David being angry with Emma was a foreign concept. “Say another word and I will make sure you can’t utter another in Emma’s presence.”

“Excuse me? We’re long past you threatening us.” David met her gaze head on.

Regina sighed and grabbed Emma’s hand, sick and tired of her being hurt. Her fears remained, doubts she wasn’t good enough and never will be, but they’d come this far already. They were squashed, because Emma wanted her and she would find a way to give Emma the world if she could. If that came in the shape of herself and Henry than that’s exactly what she would get.

“Look at yourselves. Do you really think Emma would hurt Neal? Or any child?” David and Snow glanced to each other, a look a shame filtering across their faces. “If you can understand why a child losing their light would have disastrous consequences than surly you could understand the same in reverse.”

“Nah, Regina, they care more about being good then me. They always will.” Emma’s shoulders slumped and the blackness shone in her eyes once more. It made her stand taller and the dreadful feeling in her gut disappeared. Emma frowned, then shook it off, because why should she give a damn?

“You’re both such idiots you can’t even see what’s right in front of you,” Regina spat, rage filtering in and out. She took deep breaths; David was right, that part of their past was over, but it didn’t stop the ferocious need to protect Emma.

“Regina, she had-”

“Snow.” Regina gritted her teeth, the hand in hers clenching forcefully, “she’s your daughter-”

Smoke surrounded them and they landed in the woods. Regina looked at Emma then pulled her hand away. Her head was spinning around a thousand times a minute. “Emma? What the hell?”

“I grew bored. What’s wrong with you?” Emma raked her eyes up and down Regina, a thought which she couldn’t quite pick up on. “Shouldn’t you be sobbing or something?”

There was zero possibility she was about to share she had been sobbing. It was ridiculous; she was an Evil Queen, the Mayor of Storybrooke, yet she found herself crumpled in the woods, crying. “I bounce back quickly.”

Emma took the few paces to close the distance, cocked her head and without warning, plunged a hand into her empty chest. Regina spasmed at the unexpected action, eyes and mouth widening as Emma yanked her hand back out. “And you’re a coward. It really hurt that much?”

“A little warning next time.” Regina took a few breaths before the shock filtered from her system. “And…yes.” Regina didn’t feel like exposing the depths of her soul when Emma looked to her like that. As if all their years had been washed away and she meant nothing. “That doesn’t mean anything to you?”

“Should it?”

Regina sighed. She needed to get to Henry, find someone other than her idiot parents to talk to and find a way to help the idiot in front of her. How Emma knew she had taken her heart out she couldn’t quite figure out. Until she looked at Emma, who acted as if her emotions had been drained. “What do you feel, Emma? Throw anything at me.”

“I-” her mouth slammed shut and the momentary puzzlement on her face had Regina pause, “nothing,” she whispered, glancing to Regina with the most heartbroken expression, “I don’t feel anything.”

“That’s not your fault, darling. The darkness has overshadowed your heart. Whatever you should be feeling is blocked and subsequently, that same darkness is driving your actions.” Regina moved closer, but resisted the urge to wrap her up in strong arms, “but, Emma, you still have a choice. What you speak, what you do, that is still you.”

Emma shook her head, “it can’t be.”

“Why not?” Regina almost wanted to jump with joy…almost, because those awful words floated around and around and if she wasn’t careful she wouldn’t be able to breathe for them.

“I wouldn’t…” both of her eyes squeezed shut and they remained that way as Emma’s hands went to her head, “I don’t like this. I feel nothing. I don’t care if I hurt you. It feels like I want to hurt everyone, but…it was the darkness, not me.”

“Before? What you said to me? Neal? You’re going to blame the darkness, really?” Regina wanted to and it was partly to blame; that amount would alter anyone’s thoughts.

“What I…I didn’t mean it. I’m s-sorry.” Emma eyes skittered around, flashed from dark to white orbs whilst she squinted and clench her hands into fists.

“What changed?” Regina took a hold of Emma’s hands and squeezed, holding them in between their bodies. She hadn’t expected things to change so quickly. The heart might have resided in her chest if she had known.

“You,” she whispered, a small curl to her lips that was entirely Emma. “You still believed in me. I wasn’t going to hurt him. No matter what I said, but they didn’t believe it for a second. Your faith in me remained.”

Regina squeezed her hands harder, “I know who you are, Emma. I love you.” She punctuated each word in the hopes it would get through. That level of darkness was insurmountable and claiming Emma had full responsibility over her actions had been a small white lie which had worked in speeding up the process. It wasn’t as if darkness had the power to control a person’s actions, however, they were all Emma, even if they accentuated in ways uncommon and darker than what would be usual.

“Help me.” Emma shook in her arms the next minute, entire body quivering. “I didn’t choose to do those things. I couldn’t have done.” _Guilt._ Not Regina’s fondest emotions, but it was a start.

Regina pulled Emma closer, “you’re still hurt because I left you after you told me that you loved me. You’re hurt over your parents’ actions. Without the darkness, those thoughts and actions may have only been a flicker in your mind, but with darkness, it amplifies your worst qualities and you, my love, used the darkness as an excuse to behave the way you did.”

“No. I…” Emma was out of her arms the next minute, shaking her head and throwing her body around, kicking leaves on the ground and picked up a stick and hurtled it across the air. “That’s total crap Regina.”

Regina smirked and crossed her arms. At least they were getting somewhere. “Anger?”

“Erm…yeah.” Emma frowned, hand rubbing the back of her neck as the feeling filtered through her system as if it had never been there. Her usual green eyes looked back up to Regina, “I…”

On a breath Regina paced back to Emma and gripped tightly onto her shoulders. Their eyes found each other. Emma’s would flicker black, but the closer she remained, the more likely they were to remain white.

“You need to let it out-” she gave her a small shake. Regina didn’t know what she was saying, if she was giving good advice or about to make matters worse, “I’m not leaving you. I’m here. I’m sorry, Emma. I never should’ve left you in the library, but that was on me, not you. I promise you, my darling, it wasn’t you.”

“You left me.” Emma’s face scrunched up then she pushed Regina away. “You’re an asshole! You left me. Do you know how hard it was for me to say that to you?” Emma stalked so they were nose to nose. Like those early days when they would fight. “I felt like I wasn’t good enough! You made me feel like shit. YOU LEFT ME! You…l-left m-me-” both eyes welled and her chin wobbled, “y-you…”

“Let it out,” Regina whispered and pulled Emma into her before she could protest, “I love you Emma. I’m so sorry. I want you and only you.”

Emma had both arms around her waist, shaking. She buried her face in Regina’s neck, the tears dampening her skin. Regina used both hands to stroke her back and shushed and soothed her. “I’m so proud of you,” she said, wrapped one tight arm around her lower back, the other still rubbing gentle circles. Emma whimpered. “I never should’ve left you. It wasn’t you.”

“If it means anything to you, I give you my word. I wanted to kiss and touch you and tell you how much I loved you, but hearing those words snapped something inside me. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Emma, I…I’m sorry I hurt you. I know we’ve talked about the curse, but that plagued my mind and I hold so much hatred for myself.” She tilted her head and pressed it to Emma’s, eyes squeezed shut. “I was punishing myself,” she whispered and wrapped both arms around Emma, pulling her to her chest.

It had taken Regina a long time to understand what she had been feeling. The talk she’d had with Snow had helped then when Emma had walked away in the woods, she had taken some time to process. She wanted Emma and the feelings were there ready to burst free, yet no matter how much they talked, how many times Emma could claim she was forgiven for the curse, there was a coldness running through her blood.

The deeds of the Evil Queen weren’t worth thinking about. Now she had transitioned to the side of ‘hero’ the crimes plagued her thoughts. She would never be able to make up or atone for them. As much as she claimed she deserved a chance at happiness, when she would reach it, however, that self-hatred would grow. When Emma had said those words, it spread through her like a disease.

Emma pulled back and sniffed, “you what?”

“I love you more than words could ever express. You mean the world to me and more. You’re good enough, Emma, but I couldn’t let myself have you. You’re too good for me and with my past, I…I’m good at hurting myself. It wasn’t about you and I’m sorry my selfish actions brought you pain.” With a hand going to Emma’s neck, she placed their foreheads together. “I want you. I will never leave you. I love you.”

Emma squeezed both eyes closed and fought off the darkest thoughts, “I love you, too. Please stop hurting yourself.”

“I’m done. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect and there’s a very huge chance I’ll mess something up. But when it comes to you, my love for you is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt. It might have taken me some time to get there, but I’m here now. I want you forever.”

“I want you too.” Emma shifted so she stood up right, trembling slightly with the need to destroy. “You feel all of that without your heart?”

Regina pulled back with a soft chuckle, “I don’t need my heart to love you.”

Emma blinked rapidly, still quivering and Regina knew it must have been taking her tremendous effort to push the darkness away. She pulled her heart free and was quick to place it back in her chest with a small wince. Her eyes shined and she dived on Emma, kissing her with every inch of her soul. Arms wrapped tightly around each other, lips kissing and hands roaming, caressing, as they kissed for all they were worth.

They felt it bubble in their chests. Then light pushed from them, spreading out across the entire town. It illuminated the streets, but didn’t stop there. The light carried on through realms, causing a small shake of each and every place the intensity of their love had managed to reach. They felt it as they pulled away, eyes shining bright as they fell into the depths of each other’s soul.

“Regina,” Emma whispered, the light magic making the darkness run and hide inside of her, “we shared true love’s kiss.” She chuckled and looked into Regina’s eyes, “even this darkness can’t stop me from loving you.”

Regina cupped her cheek, rubbing her thumb gently over her soft skin. Her eyes welled as she let out a chuckle, smile watery. As much as she was confident about their love, there remained an uncertainty. Now it was gone and she felt free from the demons of her past. Free to love Emma for eternity.

“And I’m sorry I said what I did. Why are we both such a mess? We’ll work on this though, right? Together.”

“We will, my love. We are stronger together. We can help each other. I’m never leaving you. You’ll always have a home with me.” It felt like an important piece to add. Emma simple nodded with glistening eyes. “I think I have a way to help you, if you’re ready to let go of the darkness?”

“Yes, I want it gone.” Emma frowned and Regina pecked her lips before it turned darker.

“Your parents will come around. I know you’re hurting, but they love you. You won’t lose them.” She tucked a piece of hair back behind Emma’s ear, smiling softly as the darkness in Emma’s eyes floated to the surface, before scurrying away, far too overcome with love to be able to settle in and take route.

***

They stood outside Granny’s with the entire town in front of them. Regina had Emma’s blackened heart in her right hand, her left was in Emma’s, fingers intertwined. She squeezed periodically to ground Emma. Having the heart outside of her chest, however, had dampened the darkness. Henry stood on Emma’s left, his hand clasped into hers.

Maleficent had come with the rest of the town and returned her son. Regina had thanked her and Emma had managed a nod in her direction. Then she had retreated into the crowd without another word. Regina felt a slight lurching in her stomach, a small need for them to be friends. She missed the companionship they had. It would be something she would discuss with Emma, because she didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

Snow and David lurked behind them, their infant son in David’s arms. Emma hadn’t yet acknowledged them, but they were here. It mattered to her and she had told Regina their reaction to Regina’s plan would determine how she went forwards. They were the only two who knew, so far they had summoned the town with the premise that their saviour needed help.

Regina had not had to rule for some time, but she had been good at it. If the murder and cruelty was excluded, of course, but she had been able to make the hard decisions, to talk in front of crowds with confidence. Now those impulses had lessoned, a good leader remained. That was, of course, thanks to everyone who stood around her. She turned her head to Emma and smiled.

“Residents of Storybrooke,” she began, extending her voice and waiting until the crowd quieted down, “thank you all for coming. I know you must be wondering why you are all here. Something unfortunate has happened recently and we need your help.”

It wasn’t lost on Regina that Gold lurked in the background. They would have to do something about him. No way was she letting him get away with hurting Emma with no consequences. She didn’t know what, but once they had helped Emma, she would see to it he was served a form of justice. Perhaps a nice one-way trip back to the Enchanted Forest would do him nicely.

“Rumpelstiltskin took it upon himself to take out his darkness and plunge it into Emma’s heart.” She lifted the heart as evidence, the crowd gasping and murmuring as she did. “No one person should hold this much darkness. Especially someone who does not deserve this to happen to her. Now, what I am about to ask of all of you is a lot and coming from me, well-” she gave a little throaty chuckle to hide her discomfort, “it’s asking even more.”

She let those words sink in and squeezed Emma’s hand. Her own stomach was churning, because if they were to revolt, then she didn’t know what she would do.

“This darkness cannot roam free. It has to be contained. If it were to become free, it would claim a victim and very likely lead to their death. Emma can only hold this much as she is the product of true love, the saviour.” Emma’s breath shuddered and even Snow and David tensed behind them, but she wasn’t about to dispel Emma’s pain for the entire town to see. It wasn’t something everyone else needed to know. “Emma cannot hold this darkness either. It has already altered her to the point she would be unrecognisable if her heart was still in her chest.”

“However, I have a proposal. I can set the darkness free and break it into small parts, where each and every one of us can take a tiny amount. The amount of us means it would be a spec. Something none of you would even feel.”

The crowd went silent, then a collective whisper past amongst them. Regina’s face dropped when she realised it wasn’t one of cooperation. She twisted to give Emma a peck on the cheek, “I’m here,” she whispered, watching as the crowd started to buzz with energy.

“And why should we trust you?” Granny asked, arms crossed around her chest, “why should we all put our lives in danger? Risk our children?”

“Children will be spared. Only adults would have to take on the darkness. And…why?” She raised an eyebrow and had to take a second to reign in her calm, “Emma is your saviour-”

“Emma has risked her own life countless times to save everyone in this town.” Snow moved forwards and stood by Regina’s side. “Her childhood was lost so she could one day come to this town and break the curse, saving every single one of you. She helped battle against our enemies, Peter Pan, the Snow queen, to save all of you.”

“A small spec of darkness will not darken your hearts.” David moved to Henry’s side, Neal still on his hip, “after everything we have all been through, we can survive this. Emma should not carry this burden alone. As her parents, we will be taking part of this darkness, just like all of you.”

“My moms are the heroes. You could all be too if you would help us.”

Emma squeezed Henry and Regina’s hands, the centre piece of her family. “I came to this town after spending my entire life alone. I found a home here, with all of you. I am asking for your help. I am the saviour, but this time, I need saving.”

“I, for one, would be more than happy to help.” Belle came in centre view of the crowd, “I’m sorry for what he did to you, Emma. You don’t deserve to carry this burden alone.”

Red moved closer to the front, “I would help without hesitation.” Emma smiled at her friend and then Belle in turn.

“I take it back,” Granny said, observing the shift in the crowd, “it’s about time we do a little saving of our own.”

The crowd mumbled and nodded their agreement. Followed by silence as they all looked to the group. “If anyone wishes to object, leave now,” Regina said, giving Emma’s hand one more squeeze before letting go. When no one moved she lifted Emma’s heart and set a blast of magic to set the darkness free.

Once it went into the air, the crowd gasping and titling their heads back, did Emma and Regina both fire coloured magic at the darkness. It protested at first, then began to shake and separate. Magic combined to form the colours of true love, like they always had and Regina took a moment to wonder how she had never noticed before. The lightness of their magic made the darkness let out a screech then it burst free and drifted over all of their heads like snowflakes.

Slowly, tiny speckles filtered into everyone’s hearts. Tiny gasps were heard, but otherwise, it as was if the darkness had never been there at all. People in the crowd looked around and chatted in disbelief amongst themselves.

Regina turned to Emma and plunged the heart back into her chest. Emma let out a long sigh and smiled, “that feels right again.”

Regina placed a hand around the back of Emma’s neck then planted their lips together. Emma returned the kiss with fervour, hands going to Regina’s hips. The puckering of their lips spread into the air with small hums and moans.

Henry’s nose crinkled, “you guys are super gross,” he said, which caused them to kiss one last time then pull back with huge smiles. They wrapped each other up in a side hug then extended their free arms which Henry gladly fell into. His head propped up onto their shoulders and he sighed as they shared a group hug.

“I love you,” Emma whispered to him, “thanks for sticking up for us. You’re the best, kid, you know that?”

“I love you too,” he said, snuggling into their arms, “it was no biggie.”

Regina pulled them both closer, “I love you, Henry.”

“Love you too, mom.”

The three of them squeezed, finding a sense of calm, relief and love within each other. It didn’t matter where they were, so long as they had each other then they were home.

“Emma,” Snow said, tentatively standing beside her daughter, “I need to apologise.”

“As do I,” David said, Neal remaining in his arms.

“I still love you both,” she said, refusing to let go of her family, “and I’m sorry for what I did with Neal, but I need some time.”

Snow nodded, giving her shoulder a quick squeeze. David did the same before creating some distance. Regina caught her eyes and nodded; if they could reach the place they had, then Emma would come around. She nodded back with a small smile before returning to her husband and son.

“Let’s go home,” Regina whispered, loosening her grip to kiss both of their heads in turn.

“Home.” Emma let the word roll around her mouth, staring intently into Regina’s eyes. It settled and her smile grew with it. “Home,” she said again, more defiantly.

“Yeah! Where else would we go?” Henry beamed, eyes flickering between his parents. As far as he was concerned, this day topped all others. “We’re a family.”

No more words were needed. Emma slipped an arm around Regina’s waist and snuggled into her side as they made their way to the mansion. Regina threw her arm around Emma’s shoulders and pulled her in tighter. Henry skipped on in front of them, talking animatedly, proud of his mothers for defeating the bad guy.

That they did, along with their own insecurities and demons. They defeated them and came out stronger, loved fiercer. Nothing was going to pull them apart. Not in this life or the next.

“Can we put on a movie?” Henry asked, twisting his head to look at them.

“After dinner, of course.” Regina smiled at him then faced Emma, “want to stay for dinner and a movie?” Things were new and she wasn’t sure exactly where they stood. It sounded nice though, spending an evening with Emma and her son.

“I’d like that.” Emma pulled away from the embrace to push open the gate leading to the mansion. Henry darted past her to the front door, bouncing on the porch.

“I know we haven’t really talked about what we’re doing-” Regina slipped her hand into Emma’s on instinct, unlocking the door so Henry could go inside. She turned to face Emma, still standing on the porch, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

Emma brushed some hair behind Regina’s ear and kissed her lips softly, “we can take things slow. Dinner and a movie with my kid and my girlfriend sounds incredible, though.”

“Girlfriend?” Regina raised a brow; they’d shared true love’s kiss, but that word somehow threw her off.

“Yeah…I-” Emma’s cheeks coloured.

Regina’s face lit up as she smiled. She kissed Emma, unable to stop now she knew how it felt. She pressed her head to Emma’s and sighed, “I like it.”

“Yeah?” Emma peaked one eye open from where she had closed them both. Regina’s eyes followed suit and soon they were staring at each other, filled to the brim with adoration and love.

“Yes. Girlfriends.”

Henry popped his head out of the door, “can we watch Star Wars?”

“Return of the Jedi or no deal.” Emma stood up right and smirked at her son. He fist pumped the air before Regina could say another word.

“I didn’t agree to anything,” she called after him to hear a loud giggle. The pair entered the house, hand in hand.

“Two against one,” he said, turning back around with a smirk, “you’re outnumbered, mom.”

“Is this what I’m going to be subjected to for the rest of my life?”

Emma balked, hand slipping so the door slammed shut. She turned with wide eyes, unable to say a word. Henry was non-the wiser and carried on giggling.

“You like Star Wars. You’re rubbish at pretending you don’t.” Regina simply gave her son a look which had him laugh then run to the next room. She did like Star Wars, but teasing them was going to be fun.

Regina squeezed Emma’s hand when she remained stood like a statue next to her. “Are you okay?”

Emma nodded slowly then allowed herself to relax. She wanted Regina forever, but some things were going to take time getting used to. She smiled, “better than I’ve ever been,” she said, gave Regina a quick kiss then dragged her to the kitchen, “please tell me you have ice cream.”

“And popcorn!” Henry chipped in.

“After dinner, Miss Swan.” Regina rolled her eyes as the two of them looked to her with puppy eyes. Oh, the nerve of them. She did suppose they’d had a trying day. It was also still early, too early for dinner. She supposed a snack wouldn’t hurt, “fine,” she huffed, though she couldn’t keep her smirk down for anything, “there’s ice cream in the freezer and popcorn in the cupboard next to the dishes. We’ll watch a movie before dinner.”

“Okayloveyou.” Emma let go of her hand in favour of rummaging through the freezer whilst Henry shot to the cupboard. In future she was going to inflict more rules about this type of thing, but not today. Today she would enjoy the moment for what it was.


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short epilogue for you all! Hope you enjoy :)

Snow’s face scrunched as Emma inhaled a grilled cheese and bear claw, followed by a large gulp of the strawberry milkshake. Emma looked up from where she had been bent over the booth at Granny’s, “it’s been two weeks. Me and Regina have a deal in place.” Emma’s eyes sparkled with mischief, but her mother was oblivious to what that could mean.

“A deal? You have a deal about eating food?” Snow understood Regina’s need to get the entire family to eat healthy. Henry would spend the weekend with them at times and he would beg for a pop tart. Although, she did know Regina was a complete pushover when it came to her family, so it couldn’t be that bad.

“Well, if I only eat this crap once every two weeks I get something in return.” It was a win win as far as Emma was concerned. She didn’t miss them too much and having to wait made them that much better every time she would have her favourite treat.

Snow gave her a puzzled look, “what do you get in return?”

Emma bit down hard on her lip to keep from smirking. She gave a one shoulder shrug, “stuff,” she said simply. There was no way she would mention that ‘stuff’ meant ‘bedroom stuff.’ Emma doubted her mother needed to know how Regina would get on her knees and well…Emma shuddered, because even the image was _hot_.

“Do I want to know?” She gave a little chuckle, happy that her daughter was happy. But, she might have caught on and she shuddered for an entirely different reason. Emma laughed and waved her off. “You had a good weekend away? I still can’t believe it’s been a year.”

“It was amazing, mom. Gods, I love her,” she said, a twinkle in both eyes and a smile which spread so wide, “we spent most of the days on the beach, me and Henry played volleyball and we all swam in the sea and sunbathed and we went to an all you can eat on one of the nights and hmm the nights.” Emma’s mind floated away to the nights she had spent with Regina. They’d made love for hours.

“Let’s keep it appropriate for the audience.” Snow raised a brow, not wanting to know any more about her daughter’s sex life with her former step-mother.

Emma couldn’t help but laugh, choking on her milkshake in the process, “it was our anniversary. What do you think we were going to do?” Emma had been grateful Regina had thought to bring a little magic. Enough for a silencing spell for the two nights they had spent in the hotel. “But, anyway, yeah, it was an incredible weekend. Regina loved it. So did Henry. Neither of them had seen the sea before and I’m glad I got to give that to them.”

“I’m happy for you both.” Snow reached over and took a hold of Emma’s hand. She flinched then told herself to relax. Emma squeezed the hand back before pulling it free and tucking them under her knees. A flash of hurt shone threw her eyes and Emma did feel a miniscule of guilt. She had been trying, they both had. Emma still had issues with her mother and father, but they had been working hard to understand her and build their relationship back up.

“Thanks, mom. Erm…would you and dad want to come for dinner at the mansion sometime this week?” Perhaps it was time to extend another olive branch. Emma did feel her insides churn a little, but Snow beamed and nodded profusely.

“Of course. We would love to. Just let us know which evening and we’ll be there.” Emma relaxed at Snow’s smile, reminding herself she was wanted. It might have taken some unfortunate circumstances for them to get to know each other. Truly get to know each other, absence of titles and predestined fates. But they were getting there. Along with the heartfelt apology she had received with them eventually understanding and owning up to their mistakes. They were making progress. It was everything Emma had hoped for.

***

Emma leant against the door frame. Regina was on the couch, feet tucked to one side with a book open. She must’ve been into the story, for Emma stood there for a few minutes simply watching before Regina popped her head up. She smiled softly at Emma, aware that the times she spent with her parents could be exhausting. Sometimes they would go well, other times not so much, but even after the past year things continued to move slowly between them.

“Hey,” Emma said, one hand crossed over her body to create a pillow from where her head leant against the wall.

“Come here, my love.” Regina placed the bookmark inside the book and placed it to one side. Emma toddled over, an arm already lifted and waiting for Emma to snuggle into her side. “Are you okay?”

Emma kicked off her shoes, then bent her legs up whilst lying her head on Regina’s shoulder, “yeah, ‘m ‘kay,” she muttered, eyes closed and a long sigh pushed from her lungs.

“Do you need to talk?” Regina kissed her temple before laying her head against Emma’s.

“Not really. It was good. I told her how we had sex all weekend and her face scrunched up. I nearly spat my milkshake everywhere.” Emma’s shoulders shook from holding in her laughter. Taking a page out of Regina’s book had been more fun that she had anticipated.

“Imagine she knew what I’m planning to do to you later,” Regina said, voice dropping an octave enough to send a shiver through Emma’s spine. She squeezed her thighs together and Regina let out a throaty chuckle. “Later, my dear. Henry’s upstairs.”

Emma groaned, “you shouldn’t tease me. Have I ever mentioned how sexy you are?”

“Every day for the past year.” Perhaps not every day, but as they grew together and their relationship morphed, Emma started to express just _how_ sexy she found the mayor.

Emma chuckled again, shifting so her head lay on Regina’s chest, one arm wrapped around her waist. Both legs curled up, so her knees rested on Regina’s lap and she responded by wrapping Emma up and holding her closer. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

“As are you, my love-” she kissed Emma through her hair, “is something the matter? I thought you said it went well.” She liked Emma curling up on her, but at times it meant something was wrong. She didn’t much care for that part.

“Been thinkin’,” she muttered, eyes squeezed shut. Regina was so warm. So safe. She felt like home. The thought tugged a corner of Emma’s lips up. She took another moment to bask in the feeling, before readjusting herself. Sitting back up right, legs curled beneath her, she leaned her head on Regina’s shoulder.

“About what?” Emma continued to wiggle about. Regina chuckled at little, “come here, darling.” With both arms around Emma’s waist, she guided her backwards, so she was sat sideward on her lap. They both sighed when Emma’s forehead fell to Regina’s. “Talk to me.”

“It’s nothing bad. Well, I hope not. There’s no pressure-” she peeked her eyes open to find adoration oozing from chocolate brown. Shoulders relaxing, she gave Regina a feather light kiss before draping both arms around Regina’s neck and sitting up right, smile making her cheeks glow.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” With both hands already on Emma’s hips, she gave a gentle squeeze with a soft chuckle, “Emma, talk to me, darling. You’re babbling.”

“Would you ever marry me?” The colour drained from Regina’s face. Emma mentally berated herself and counted to ten before cupping Regina’s cheek. Understanding didn’t make it hurt any less. “It’s okay,” she soothed, thumb brushing the soft skin, “I can’t imagine everything you’ve been through. If you never want to-”

“Emma.” The dread lessoned with Emma around. She hadn’t delved much into her past, but throughout the year they’d begun to speak in depth over their past hurts, traumas, insecurities. That, however, was a subject very far out of reach.

“Regina.” Emma smiled. It was a sad sort of smile, one where you would tell the person you loved you were happy for them when they were with another. If they were happy then so were you. This smile was softer, yet more jaded and laced with understanding. Empathy even. “I know it must be difficult for you. It’s just-” she bit her lip, redness creeping up her neck, “the thought of you being my wife makes me all giddy.”

“Emma.”

Emma looked up again, smile filled with love and compassion. “You’re enough, Regina.”

“Emma,” she said again, though this time on a sigh, “it’s not that…it’s not you.” Those hands travelled up Emma’s back now and back down until Emma’s body started to sway. “After I…after the king died. I made a promise to myself that I would never marry another.” She swallowed hard, eyes filling with tears. “But-”

“Hey, Regina.” Emma kissed her trembling lips. She kept going until she tasted salt, letting their lips slide over each other’s. When Regina’s breath shuddered Emma pulled away and went back to cupping her cheek. “You’re enough. The idea of marriage used to terrify me. It still does, but you’re more important than any ring or ceremony.”

“I’m not saying no,” she whispered, eyes staring and falling into those she could fall into without any fear at all, “maybe one day, Emma, I’d break that promise for you. I have to admit you being my wife has a certain ring to it.”

“Yeah?” Emma ducked her head with a smirk, a fresh wave of butterflies hitting her stomach.

“Yes. Maybe.” Regina hated the uncertainty. She wanted to give this to Emma if that was what she desired, but scars were scars. Whether visible or entrenched in the depths of her mind.

“It wasn’t a proposal by the way, I was just asking. I promise there’s no pressure. It’s only been a year, I don’t think I’m ready for that. Not yet, anyway.” Regina snaked her arms around Emma and pulled until she lay on her chest. She ran fingers through her hair as Emma sighed, eyes closed and head resting on Regina’s shoulder.

“I know. Let me…let me get used to the idea and maybe…maybe-”

Emma turned her head so she faced Regina, smiling up at her. “I’ll leave the proposal up to you.”

“Excuse me?” Regina raised an eyebrow, certain she hadn’t heard Emma say that.

“Yeah, so, whenever you’re ready for more then you can bring it up. If it never comes up then it never comes up.” Emma cupped her palm in the crook of Regina’s neck and used her finger nails to trace soft patterns. “I want you. If you asked me in a day or in a year or in ten years, I’ll always want you. But I want you more than marriage, so if you never ask, you never ask.”

Regina shivered at the touch and pressed a kiss to Emma’s head. “I love you,” she muttered against it, filled to the brim with emotion. Emma had given her a gift, whether she was aware of it or not. Marriage filled her with all sorts of feelings that made her want to rip the world apart. Marriage with Emma…not so much.

If Emma were to ever propose and she said no, it could destroy Emma. Rear those feelings of being unwanted and unloved straight to the forefront of her mind. It was the last thing she ever wanted. If she said yes whilst she wasn’t ready, it would eat at her until she ruined what good they had built together. This way she had time to adjust and with the certainty Emma would one day say yes, she fully intended to work through her issues until they could marry.

Until she could take Emma as her wife.

“I love you, too.” Emma closed her eyes and sighed, snuggling into Regina. Arms tightened around her body and although she was twisted, she could’ve stayed there all night. “Oh,” she had completely forgotten about the little piece of information she probably should’ve talked to Regina about first, “I invited my mom and dad over for dinner.”

“You did?” Glad the talk of marriage was over for the time being, she kissed Emma again and let any hurt wash away, focusing instead on the body moulded against her own. With the way Emma took comfort from her. Knowing Emma had wanted to be with her and feeling it on a daily basis were two very different things. She thanked herself for not being an idiot and allowing Emma into her heart.

“Yup. I want my parents back, not weekly time slots where I get to see them. I think I’m almost ready for them to be in my life again. Soon…anyway. I thought I’d reach out.”

“I’m proud of you.” She toyed with Emma’s hair causing her to relax further and kissed her again, far too intoxicated with the one and only Emma Swan.

“You’re my favourite person in the world,” Emma muttered, succumbing to a daze. Her breathing began to even out and she figured a quick nap wouldn’t do any harm. Not if Regina was already planning to take her to bed and have her way with her that night. She was safe now. She didn’t have to worry about being alone when she next awoke.

Using one hand to rub her back, Regina shushed her and grabbed her book. Emma fell into a light sleep almost instantly. Regina simply watched her sleep for a drawn-out moment, thinking Emma’s words were exactly her own. Emma was everything and more.

With Emma still on her lap, she shuffled slightly to get more comfortable. It took another few minutes, but Regina dragged her gaze away and returned instead to the story she had been reading. She tilted her head to rest it against Emma’s, warm air brushing against her neck.

Then she smiled. Who would’ve thought the Evil Queen would’ve found happiness? In the saviour and their son, nonetheless. And maybe their story wasn’t perfect. It had started with loss and defeats and scars too big to share.

With them fighting and running and causing more damage that could be repaired.

But it was theirs.

They ended up exactly where they were meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're at the end! I do hope you have enjoyed this story. Thank you to everyone who has read and left comments. Please do let me know what you think :)


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